Lots of talky stuff in this episode. Heck, on a couple of occasions, they even get serious. Moreover –Ā no one visits the lavatory! Read on…
The conversation continued in much the same vein for a few minutes until it became clear to everyone that it had run its course. So as the two officers returned to their office, Lance took Bubbles and Barclay inside the building. In doing so they passed beside Silo Sevenā¦

āWhat do you keep in these silos?ā Bubbles inquired. āNuclear missiles?ā
āGrain.ā The short-arsed soldier answered. He then expanded upon his reply, āSilos one through six are empty. Weāve not been able to get a decent harvest in years. Seven will be fully depleted by the end of the week.ā
āOh, Lance,ā Bubbles wailed, āthatās terrible. Well at least I think it is. How many silos do you have?ā
āSeven.ā Lance replied. āThe Catering Corps are looking into ways of roasting scorpions and cockroaches, and boiling sandworms; so we shouldnāt starve.ā
āTalking of starving,ā Barclay interrupted, āI havenāt eaten since breakfast-time yesterday ā on Earth: how about some chow and a cup of coffee?ā
Chapter 9
Bubbles had felt guilty about eating from the cavalryās meagre supply; but having done so she felt much better physically. She even managed a smile as she stood beside Barclay and did her best to regard the view across the radiation-swept plain upon which Fort Dunderhead had been builtā¦

Her smile was infectious, and as she came close to Barclay, he couldnāt help smiling himself.
āItās been a funny old sort of day.ā He said over his shoulder.
āNot the one Iād imagined.ā Bubbles confessed. āAnd not better either.ā
Then, as the exterior lights blazed and turned the dusk beyond the perimeter into night, both terrestrial earplugs turned their gaze away from the windowā¦

ā¦and looked at each other.
āUntil we get the Prowler ship-shape,ā Barclay said, ātheir problem is our problem.ā
Bubbles opened her mouth to reply, but a sudden power-outage plunged the interior into semi-darknessā¦

Recovering, she spoke her intended words:
āIf we could leave tonight, I wouldnāt. We have a super-advanced alien-based machine at our disposal, built by the Punting-Modesty Munitions Company: surely thereās something we can do.ā
Barclay allowed his eyes to range along the compartment in which they stood:
āThey have an advanced technological civilisation,ā he replied, āand all they can do is either hide or flee. If someone can fix up the Prowler, I think thatās what we should do.ā Then, following a pause of perhaps a heartbeat or two, he added: āAlternatively we could use it to good effect. Iāve been thinking about that strange curtain-like thing in space. Something tells me that itās there for a reason. Or if it isnāt ā well maybe we can give it a reason. Letās go talk to the boss: maybe he knows something about it.ā
Bubbles was thrilled by what she heard her subordinate say.
āOh, Barclay,ā she screamed as she cuddled up to him, āwhat a wonderful idea. Letās go ā right now.ā
So, whilst electrical technicians elsewhere struggled to turn the lights back on, Bubbles wrapped an arm around Barclayās, and together they strode off in search of the Commanding Officerās quarters⦠Ā

Although Fort Dunderhead could be described as ābigā, it didnāt take long for the determined earplugs to find Major Leftfoot-Badgerās office.Ā At first, though, they thought the room was empty. Only the presence of a pair of old-style cavalry hats informed them that anyone was homeā¦

Of course, what neither Punting-Modesty employee could have known was that the Major wore contact lenses, and he and Lieutenant R Swypes were hidden from view as they searched the carpet beneath the Majorās desk for an errant lens. When they became aware that they were not alone, they quickly regained their feet and threw themselves into their chairs in time to greet their visitorsā¦

āAh, the terrestrials.ā Leftfoot-Badger called out, despite the fact that he couldnāt actually see who stood before him. āI can smell the vacuum of space upon you.ā
āWhadda ya want?ā Swypes added.
As Barclay told the Worstworlders about their encounter in space, both cavalry-plugs donned their hats and came around the deskā¦

āLieutenant Swypes,ā the Major said as Barclay finished his description, āthis is more your area of expertise: how about you strut your funky stuff.ā
Swypes turned his attention to the visitors. āI believe you speak of the Veil of Shytar.ā He said. āSo named by a solo adventurer, by the name of Augustus Pronk, who flew his tiny one-earplug vessel from our world, in search of another upon which he could live in splendid isolation from his overbearing wife and soul-crushing off-spring. He was seated upon his tiny vesselās sole lavatory, when the veil swam into view and startled him mightily. He decided to name the apparition after the lavatory seat upon which he sat. But, being a prudish society we altered his original nomenclature for the space anomaly to Shytar. The difference in pronunciation is slight, but it makes all the difference when discussed during a dinner party, governmental general assembly, waiting in line at a check-out, or whatever.ā
āFascinating,ā Barclay interrupted rudely, ābut what the flipping heck is it?ā
āWe have no idea.ā Swypes replied as he sniffed disdainfully. āSince Augustus Pronk embarked upon a second journey to rendezvous with it ā and never returned ā no one has dared go near it.ā
āOh,ā Bubbles said in surprise, āso you have no idea that it rejects sensor scans and cannon fire?ā
āEr, no.ā Swypes replied. āUmā¦what of it?ā
āIāll tell you what,ā Bubbles snapped, āinstead of cowering in the shadows and accepting defeat, the people of Worstworld should be trying anything and everything to make sure this planet survives the coming holocaust. The Veil of Shytar can deflect energy. How much energy? Could it stand against a nova? Shouldnāt someone be looking into the idea?ā

The Major felt it his duty to take control of the conversation:
āPerhaps it is, young female,ā he said in a not altogether stuffy or pompous manner, ābut until this moment, no one has ever thought of it.ā
Stepping from his desk he stood and spoke directly to Bubblesā¦

āWe no longer have the capability to make this study.ā He said. āTime is not on our side.ā
Meanwhile Lieutenant Swypes was regarding a container of redundant machine guns. Barclay noticed this.Ā āYou should use whatever weapons you can on such an implacable foe.ā He said.
āMajor,ā Swypes addressed his superior, āmight I suggest we do everything in our limited power to assist these wonderful earplugs in their efforts to utilise the Veil of Shytar against the coming nova?ā

āWhat do you mean, Lieutenant?ā Leftfoot-Badger responded hopefully.
āThat we send a team of engineers to get their vessel fixed and fit to fly.ā Swypes replied. āBubbles and Barclay are our only weapons against the inevitable. We must send the willing conscripts into battle!ā
These were rousing words spoken well in a surprisingly stentorian tone.
āJeepers, R.ā The major exploded, āyouāre absolutely right. Enough of wasting our lives away sodding about in armoured vehicles: letās give āem a fighting chance. Are you up for it, Bubbles?ā
Bubbles, caught slightly off-guard, responded thus:
āUgh, yeahā¦whatever. Letās get down!ā
The Major was thrilled by this reaction, so, only moments later, Lance Ottershoe arrived to escort their visitors from the officeā¦

āYou two hang around outside in the corridor.ā He said as they headed for the door. āIāll go rustle up some engineers and armoured personnel carriers.ā
Ā© Paul Trevor Nolan 2022
In the early Earplug Adventure stories all the photos were taken at random. Then, when I figured I had enough shots, I would arrange them so that they told a story of sorts. It was a bit Stream of Consciousness, but trammelled by the pictures available to me. Later I reversed the process – thinking up the story and shooting appropriate photos. But the picture in this episode that features the box of machine gunsĀ in the Major’s office returned me to my roots. I had no plan to use the gun’s presence the story; but their mere existance gave Barclay the opportunity to make the Lieutenant reconsider his position. A significant and timely result of this appears later in the story – you’ll know it when you see it. If I hadn’t included that box (as window dressing) in the scene when I shot it in my attic ‘studio’, the tale might have taken another path entirely. Stream of Consciousness continues to have a place in my stories. I think it’s a good way to write – at least for me, who can’t abide rules and restrictions: it allows an alternative narrative to exist. Ā