The fields near where I live suffered during the Summer of 2022. They also made a pleasant, if slightly abnormal wallpaper…
Here’s how it might appear on your computer…
And just to show you the lengths I’m willing to go to in order to serve up these wonders of nature – regard what a loop of vicious bramble did to me as I went about my country business, snapping nice pictures to share with all…
My ankle was like that all the way around. I hate bastard brambles!
My dentist speaks quietly, with a German accent, through a face mask and a plastic visor. I have to guess what she is saying. When she asked, “is it numb yet?” I said “Yes”, when I should have said “No.” I only recognised my error when she began drilling. But I quickly decided to ‘man-up’ and pretended that all was well. Clearly I am a better actor than I thought. Or maybe I’m hard as nails. Or even more ‘maybe’, maybe she didn’t give a shit, and drilled away merrily anyway. Worst case scenario: she’s a sadist.
This picture is entirely unrelated: I just like it.
I’m beginning to feel my age. Not only is my funny bone on hiatus – feeling lethargic in the humour department, you understand – but other things are becoming bothersome too. Woke up at 5am – feeling like shit. Tried to have shit: couldn’t. BIG PAIN. 7am finally faced the truth: not invincible: called National Health Service 111. 20 minutes later Ambulance arrives. Following an ECG and other stuff, taken here…
Following some anti-sickness stuff and a dash of morphine, it’s off to the land of nod. Miraculously (following the oft-interrupted, drug-induced, snooze) crippling pain gone. Spend rest of day being tested for everything under the sun. Eventually handed a cup of tea and a tuna sandwich and told: “If you can keep that down without it hurting, you can go home.” Went home. What was it? Who knows!
Tooty Nolan: Languishing Somewhere Between Clever and Stupid 