Dwindling Numbers

Having the misfortune of being a literary genius and international author of vast repute, it’s not often that I find the time to drag my attention away from all the wondrous creations that have sprung from my ageing, yet still fertile imagination and actually scan the WWW for signs of life, particularly in the blogs that I used to follow in the early days (when I was still relatively new to this blogging thing). Well today I found that time and I was shocked. They’ve been (mostly) deleted or abandoned. Their creators, it seems, had simply given up in the face of planetary indifference. So I took a wander through more recent blogs. In many cases their authors are lamenting about falling readership. Some are considering calling it a day. Others remind me of the old axiom: ‘If it isn’t working, try something else’. This gave me cause to pause, as it were, in the pursuit of readership and – hopefully – commensurate book sales. I logged on to my publishers’ web site and checked out my book sales. Ten books sold in July – seven of which were freebies. Not good. Then I compared the numbers of visitors to this blog. Disappointment turned to concern; despite the fact that the number of ‘followers’ have continued to slowly increase, those reading my literary and photographic efforts have fallen spectacularly. People really do seem to be giving up on the Internet – or at least WordPress. In May 2017 I had 3600 visits. The same month in the following year saw only 1800 readers call by. This May I got just 524 visits. By June I was down to 302. I know Summer is never a good time: people have other things to do; so I was slightly relieved to discover that July hasn’t been quite so bad. As of the moment I’m up to a heady 767 hits. On Flickr figures are better; but I can’t post stories and comedy there – although I do air a few Earplug Adventure photos to mix it up a little. So, with dwindling numbers, I’m beginning to question the logic of continuing HamsterBritain.com. But I don’t want to stop promoting my serious fiction, hamster-fiction, or earplug silliness. That would be a crime against humanity – wouldn’t it? Maybe it’s time to try something else. Any suggestions?



It’s the Earplugs Fifth Anniversary! Well Nearly.

Mooching back through my few remaining ‘old’ blog posts, I found this, from August 2014…

As you’ve probably guessed, it’s been a little quiet at work recently. Although this is an unfortunate situation, I’ve made it tolerable by allowing my creative juices to flow and doing what I do best – that is thinking up really silly rude stuff. The result – The Ear Plugs.

tooty nolan holds picture

Whadda ya think so far?

I can’t believe I’ve been shooting these daft pictures and writing this ridiculous prose for a full half-decade. Interestingly, the rude aspect of the stories was shelved early on. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. But, whatever, the Earplug Adventures continue to roll. Honestly, don’t I have something better to do?

And the question still stands: Whadda ya think so far?

Re-Blog: Preparing to Dash Through a Forest of Triffids

I first posted this a handful of years past. Having discovered it among the older files, here it is again…

Thank you, John Wyndham, for the inspiration.


Had I not read the works of the aforementioned, I would never have written Silent Apocalypse.

Annotation: Strange that, at the time, I didn’t add the cover photo. Not feeling particularly mercenary, I guess. Maybe I’d sold a couple of copies that week. Well I don’t have that luxury now: let’s put that right!

And just for good measure…the sequel!

Pretentious? Moi?

There I was, Googling myself, when, hey presto, I discover that I’m one of those wise asses who expound their opinions and display spurious knowledge upon the Internet. I wrote this, upon someone else’s blog, in 2014…

“No two writers are alike. I’m not sure that one writer (however successful) can really teach another ‘how to do it’. In the end we all find our own voice.”

Have you read my stuff? Earplugs and hamsters, for heck’s sake. How pretentious can I get?

Oh yes – that pretentious!


Thank You, Regular Readers

I don’t have a vast readership. Despite my best efforts, I’m not exactly what you might call a ‘successful author’ –  either as an on-line blogger or in the number of books sold. So it always pleases me to see the same names and avatars appearing after I post some ditty or other. My regular readers – you know who you are: without you I’d give it up. So thank you for staying with me. Also I’d like to thank those of you for whom English isn’t their  first (or sometimes last) language. When I see this on my stats page…

…I wonder what it is you get from reading my piffle and looking at my photos. But whatever it is, I’m glad you’re there to read it. So thank you too. And even those who download the free e-books from Amazon, but don’t return to buy any more: I’m pleased you go to the bother. It’s good to know that people from all around the globe take the time to cast an eye over my work. It’s as good to entertain, as it is to be entertained – that’s what I’ve found in my time on WordPress. I just wish I could earn a few more cents for my trouble; but we won’t mention anything so mercenary, eh?



My Little Corner of the World

I’ve stated before, in posts dating back at least three years, that I’ve been fortunate enough to have moved back to the village of my childhood after over three decades absence. So, three years on, I felt some of that joy return as I realised how lucky I was to be in a position to take this picture posted on A Writer’s Photographs…


This scene was shot five minutes (walking briskly without chihuahuas) from my door – or ten if I break into a run.

“Duh?” I hear you say. “Five minutes away, but ten if he runs? What twaddle Tooty do’th speak!”

Well here’s the reason. Here’s this little corner of my world placed into perspective against the slightly larger little corner of the world…

corner of feild

I live at the bottom of the hill. You try running against gravity: I nearly collapse if I try running. And I certainly wouldn’t be capable of holding a camera straight!