Distant Land Less Distant

It may have caught your attention that the 43rd episode of Junior Earplug Adventures: Distant Land gave the very distinct impression that the tale was drawing to a conclusion. Well, were you to gain that impression, you wouldn’t have been very far from the truth. In fact there is just one more episode to come. But, in the time honoured way of things in my publishing universe, the e-book version is always released (or, as I prefer to term it – unleashed) first. And so, once again, this has come to be. As you read this, this book…

…sits atop the listing on my Spotlight page at Lulu.com. And so it should: it’s…er…almost unique. Only the other thirty-three volumes of the Earplug Adventures saga come close. Check it out now.

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Surely, in This Selfie-Obsessed World, it Makes Sense to…

…turn your dash-cam the wrong way ’round…

Okay, maybe not: but, at least, you gotta get in front of lens somehow. Right?

But then again, perhaps it’s best to just let it snap the way ahead…

Playing Catch Up

Well it seems that the Nook and the Kindle are still lagging behind Lulu and iBooks. By that I mean that (so far) Barnes & Noble have reached ‘Earplug Aftermath‘ of the refurbished Earplug Adventures, and no further. And Amazon are only at the ‘The Invasion From Hyperspace‘ stage. But keep an eye open: they’re bound to catch up eventually. If they don’t, we’ll let this lot loose on ’em!

Cometh the Earplug Cometh!

Yes, that’s right, the next in the series of touched-up, much improved, made gorgeous, Earplug Adventures has arrived at iBooks and Lulu.

As the blurb on the 2016 psuedo-cover suggests, it’s uncommonly long (for an Earplug Adventure)…

WARNING: THIS BOOK CONTAINS A HUGE NUMBER OF CHAPTERS! When danger comes visiting in the Museum of Future Technology, who do you call for? Magnuss Earplug, that’s who. Cometh the moment, cometh the earplug, or so they say. The usual mayhem ensues.

And boy does my right forearm know it. I have spent hour upon bloody hour on this refurb, and my ‘mouse’ hand has cried “Enough!”.

Anyway, here’s the usual montage…

And, of course, a snippet…

And just for my loyal reader, Jayne – it features those popular favourites of hers, Magnuss and Hair-Trigger!

 

Third Day of the Earplug is Go – Again!

On the off-chance¬† that you were to visit Apple Books, or perhaps my publishers – Lulu.com, you would discover that this e-book…

…has enjoyed its authors’ loving attentions and has been made nicer by the application of touched-up photos and a bit of jiggery-pokery in the writing department. Naturally a montage follows (which looks beguiling in the extreme when viewed on an iPad)…

And a photo-snip from the manuscript…

Decent, eh?

 

Distant Land (part 41)

It would take time to organize the evacuation of the icebound Museum of Future Technology…

And because the protective electromagnetic screen’s vast energy consumption was…um…vast, it was decided to lower them and trust in the integrity of the building’s multi-layered outer walls to maintain a livable temperature inside – at least for a while. But, just to be certain that no one would freeze to death, whilst preparations were completed, it was recommended that non-essential personnel remain in their quarters and keep their wooley socks on. This included the Skail Brothers. So Yaki Hogwashi wasn’t surprised¬† when, the following day, Richter answered the door to her insistent knocking…

“Why, hello!” The yellow earplug said as his eyes alighted upon the attractive Geisha Boss. “Whatever you’re selling – I’ll have half a dozen.”

Beaufort, who was looking out of the window, called out: “Enough of the smarm, Richter: invite her in.”

So, moments later, Yaki had parked her posterior at the dining table and duly introduced herself…

“Nice quarters.” She added. “The decor is divine.”

“Thank you.” Richter replied. “I can take no credit for it, I’m afraid: I leave all the decorating to Beaufort.”

Beaufort decided to dispense with niceties: “Whadda ya want?” He all but snarled at the uninvited interloper, whom he didn’t know, nor really cared to. “I was darning a hole in my underpants!”

In response Yaki dropped her smile. “Okay.” She said. “I’ll get cut to the chase. I make a point of knowing who is doing what to whom inside the Museum of Future Technology. My geisha business relies on it. So I know that several months ago you were dispatched off-world to find an alternative energy supply. Our current situation strongly suggests that you failed.”

“Not for the want of trying.” Beaufort said in the sibling’s defense.

“I don’t doubt it.” Yaki replied. “But you returned in a fully-functioning ship that bears remarkably few scars.”

“What are you inferring?” Beaufort snapped. “Are you calling us cowards?”

Yaki was appalled at the suggestion…

“What?” She squealed. “No, of course not. Flipping heck. No – I was just pointing out that the Gravity Whelk remains space-worthy. That it can still fly!”

Richter chanced a half-smile.”What do you want us to do, Yaki?” He said quietly

To which Yaki replied: “Tell our story. Don’t let our disappearance go unnoticed. Let the Galaxy know that once we were here. And let them know what destroyed us. That conspicuous over-consumption has devastating consequences. Make sure that others don’t make the same mistake.”

It was a long sentence, and Yaki had been so earnest that she’d forgotten to breathe throughout it. So she slumped back in her seat and awaited the Skail’s response…

“Actually,” Beaufort said slowly, “the thought had occurred to us. But we didn’t know quite how to go about it. All the Comm-Stations are under several measures of ice and snow. We can’t dial out.”

“No, that’s right.” Richter spoke clearly and concisely. “But the Gravity Whelk isn’t!”

A split second later the three earplugs had leapt from their seats and were on their way to the Skail’s communication panel…

They had a call to make. And it wasn’t to order a gross of toilet tissues!

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2019

Great Nook Spikes!

At first glance that title might appear nonsensical. Who is Great Nook and what has he/she spiked? Sadly it’s nothing so fascinating: just me bringing some book sales stats to your attention. It’s just that recently there has been a slight spike in my book sales – notably the ‘Silent’ books…

…which is excellent: they are (after all) my better work. But, in the time honoured fashion, all sales have been to Barnes & Noble Nook users. Once again the Kindle readers have been left languishing in their wake – having taken only the ‘freebie’ Junior Earplug Adventure e-books. Hip, hip, hooray to all you Nook readers: and yah-boo sucks to the freeloaders – unless you come back to buy some of the non-freebie tales, in which case I would have to tell you that I love each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart. But, at the moment, I only love you from the heart of my bottom. So get on over to the sidebar (or the relevant page beneath the header above, if you’re using a tablet or phone to view this) and start selecting a wondrous e-tome or two. Stand out from the crowd why don’t you!