Junior Earplug Adventures: The Island of Doctor Wiel- Barrau (Episode 31)

Sandy and Sebden didn’t waste a second arguing their innocence – even though they’d been on coffee break when the break-out occurred; so rightly felt that it wasn’t their fault and they didn’t deserve being called names. Instead they scarpered as fast as their legs could carry them…

Meanwhile Daffney was leading the escapees to another exit, when she failed to notice the presence of the Oracle’s avatar. So the avatar caught her attention by trapping Nibbli Bulwark and her big nose in an Encapsulation Beam…

“Ask me a question, and I’ll let her go.” It said.

“What the flipping heck do you think you’re doing?” Daffney tried on for size.

“Saving your lives.” The Oracle replied. “Now I can’t offer you information, but I can answer pertinent questions. Ask another question that will save your lives.”

Daffney had to think about that for a moment or two…

“I’ll have to think about that.” She replied. “Probably for a moment or two.”

But Nibbli’s experience inside the Encapsulation Beam had inspired her to great clarity of thought: “What’s wrong with the exit that we’re heading for?”

“It’s mined.” The Oracle replied succinctly, if briefly.

Gwen Sickie stepped forward. “Are all the exits mined?” She inquired.

“No.” The Oracle answered – even more briefly.

By now Daffney had managed to think of a question: “Where is an exit that isn’t mined?”

“The disused subterranean one that leads to the old docks that supplied the Black Tower in the olden days.” The Oracle answered much less briefly and very informatively. Then it added: “If I were capable of making suggestions, I’d head there right now, pronto, muy rapido, and quick.”

Needless to say, the frightened group of escaping earplugs did exactly as the Oracle had recommended. Soon they were squeezing up through an inspection hatch beneath the Black Tower…

…and then running like the Hounds of Droxford were snapping at their heels: Adolf Wiel-Barrau had called a Crimson Alert.

 Paul Trevor Nolan 2017

 

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Wallpaper 403: Morning Berries

 

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Whatever Happened To? 7: Best Friends and Burglars

The e-book, Those Magnificent Earplugs, saw the introduction of Hellfire McWilliams and Erroneous Bosche…

 

They were naughty boys, and they proved it by visiting the nearest city to the penitentiary, from which they’d been released…

…where they took up their craft once again. But – and I’ll try not to spoil anything for those who didn’t read the serialised version (or the e-book) – their skills were eventually put to good use. But since then, they have simply disappeared off the radar. Has there been a scene in which they appeared – even as extras? Well actually there might be, but I don’t recall shooting it. So, to the point, who wants to see these two little guys again?

I do – but I don’t count. You do, though. Your vote (by clicking the LIKE button) will determine whether, or not, they appear in the next book. So if slightly magnificent burglar earplugs are your thing, get clicking now!

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Wallpaper 402: Roses Rising into the Light

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Ach, Not to be Forgetting the Free E-Books, Ja?

I refer, of course (with the voice of Dr Adolf Wiel- Barrau), to these wondrous e-tomes…

For the princely sum of nothing at all, a would-be reader of these fine examples of Tooty humour can discover them both at Amazon Kindle, Barnes & Noble, Google Books, iBookstore, Lulu, Kobo, and every major (and many minor) e-book retailers. So if you have an e-reader, tablet, smart phone, laptop, etc, why wouldn’t you take advantage of this fabulous offer? It’s a no-brainer – though you do need a brain to enjoy them of course.

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Junior Earplug Adventures: The Island of Doctor Wiel-Barrau (Episode 30)

So, without hesitation, Starry moved to the starboard side control node, where a weak and horribly infected bladder inadvertently saved the day – although she wasn’t aware of it at the moment of her accident…

It was only when the acidic fumes permeated both the air and the sensitive circuitry in the control nodes…

…and caused a pleasant malfunction, which knocked out the power to (among others) the communication system, that Starry recognised a case of serendipity. “What a fortunate accident.” She cried out. “I’m so happy!”

Naturally Adolf, who was busy admiring the mine field by the secret front door, heard almost immediately…

“Mien Gott.” He roared. “My wunderbar Nul-Space generator being dysfunctional it is? How can this be?” Then he had a sudden thought: “The prisoners.” He roared even louder than before. “The locks are being electronic. Escape is very possible being. We must be investigating instantaneously.”

So, a split second later…

…he led Darcy and Norma in a determined march across the foyer. So determined were they to reach the Sterile Area and Holding Cell as quickly as possible, not one of them noticed the Oracle’s avatar materialise in the corridor…

But it noticed them. A quick elevator ride into the bowels of the secret facility saw the threesome enter the Sterile Area…

Poor Norma felt shattered: she’d had to use the emergency auxiliary pedal-power device to make the elevator work. And Adolf wasn’t happy because the effort involved in pedalling down several floors had made Norma sweat profusely, and now she smelt horribly, .

Like a Plugmutt’s bum.” Thought Darcy.

Discovering that all the inmates were absent, Adolf tried using the Sterile Area’s spy equipment…

But, of course, Slomo Chewings had disabled it when he switched off the security system.

“Out of order?” Adolf bellowed. “Unacceptable this is being!”

So, in a fury that only super-intelligent doctors can muster, he turned to the two staff responsible for caring for the subjects of his experiments, Sandy Wetwipe and Sebden Barflinger …

“You, you bright red abomination.” He yelled. “Take that ugly little blue fart beside you and be finding my patients for me. Failure is being unacceptable. Now, be going!”

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2017

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Whatever Happened To? 6: Sombreros!

Without checking back through the early Earplug Adventure books, I’m not sure when the famous earplug sombrero first appeared; but chances are it was the Earplug Brothers performing a silly song – like this one from Evil Empire…

Naturally they would crop up again – in this case, worn by bandits on Worstworld

And, of course, I couldn’t resist using them over and over: in this case when Buttox Barkingwell departed the Punting-Modesty Armaments office for the last time…

They made their final bow when a playful Ticket Collector demanded customers wear them, whilst performing a ritual dance when entering the front door of the Museum of Future Technology for the first time…

But since then? Nothing, Nada. I have a small bucket of them in my attic studio, but (for whatever reason) no earplug has donned one again. Well might this be the time to resurrect the wonderful head garment? Might it appear in the next book? If the answer is an enthusiastic ‘Ja’, then start clicking the LIKE button, or leave a positive comment. You can do it: you know you want to.

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