So this is it: the episode when the star finally does its thing…
What they saw from thirty-thousand feet horrified them both. Energy discharges were sparking off the metallic content in several mountain peaks…
“Back up.” Barclay yelled. “This is no place for a high-tech device. Back up!”
Bubbles heeded his warning, and seconds later the Prowler re-joined the Goosewing Grey – just as the Veil of Shytar made rendezvous with Worstworld…
“It doesn’t look big enough to shield the entire planet.” Bubbles remarked.
Captain Drangonsrectum must have harboured similar doubts. Despite the static created by the malcontent star, his voice crackled over the radio:
“This thing does get bigger, I hope. Like this it’ll only be good enough to protect the Goosewing and the Prowler!”
Barclay heard a muffled voice through the door that lead to the R&R lounge. It belonged to Augustus Pronk:
“Oh ye of little faith.”
“Of course it will expand, you nincompoops.” Mister Mauve added.
Down on the surface of the planet – or, to be more precise, in the sandy wastelands beside Fort Dunderhead, several cavalry-plugs had taken themselves outside for a good view of the celestial event that would determine whether they would live or die…
“Oh-ur,” one of them said to another, “I don’t half feel exposed out here.”
“Hmmm, me too.” His comrade replied. “But if we took off all our clothes, we might get a really good over-all tan.”
Of course, from their vantage point they had no opportunity to see the Veil – as if on cue – expand and manoeuvre into a position that placed it directly between the star and its sole inhabited planet…
Then the moment arrived. The blue-giant gave no warning. It didn’t convulse or wobble or anything like that. It just went BLAM…
Aboard the Prowler, Bubbles and Barclay’s retinas were saved when the forward viewer darkened to protect them…
“Barclay,” Bubbles screamed, “I can’t believe this is happening. Hold me. Crush me to your breast!”
Barclay tried to inject some levity:
“Sounds good.” He said. “I’d invite you into the R&R lounge, but Augustus and Mister Mauve are watching events through the side windows: I wouldn’t want to offend them.”
Aboard the Goosewing Grey no one made such an attempt…
It was all professionalism.
“We are recording this, right?” Captain Dragonsrectum inquired.
“We are, Sir,” the Science Officer answered. ”We are also transmitting a live-stream to Scroton and the Galactic News Channel. This should be going out all over known space and possibly beyond – you never know.”
Upon Scroton, Nigel and Beatrix were leading a charge across a quiet plaza in Scroton Prime…
“If we miss this, I’m going to spit venom.” Beatrix gasped through tortured lungs. “I mean, having all those huge Three-Dee screens mounted in public places will have been a complete waste of time and money – not to mention ruined expectations!”
But she need not have worried. They arrived just in time to see the time-delayed explosion in its full, glorious blueness…
“Ooh…pretty.” Someone said from the back. “I wish I had a bathroom that colour.”
“Take that man’s name,” Nigel responded to the inadequacy of the statement, “We need a new lavatory cleaner in the parliamentary building.”
Surprisingly, and despite their proximity to the disaster, Fort Dunderhead could also receive the Galactic News footage…
“You did set the video cassette recorder to capture this moment, I hope?” Major Left-Foot Badger said to his adjutant.
“We’ve moved on a bit since the VCR,” Lieutenant R Swypes replied. “We have a digital PVR now. And yes it is recording this for posterity.”
“Well let’s hope we don’t get an electro-magnetic pulse from that explosion that fries digital stuff.” Sergeant Lance Ottershoe said as he stood beside the officers, “I’m not expecting any of the armoured personnel carriers to function properly after this. Give me good old-fashioned analogue electronics: they’re so much more dependable.”
“Lousy TV picture though.” The Major replied.
Far away, upon Earth and the Museum of Future Technology, night held dominion over day…
As a Submarine Space Freighter launched upon one of many voyages to other worlds, inside visitors and inhabitants of the museum were being treated to scenes of the exploding blue-giant…
And they didn’t like what they saw. In fact they refused to look.
Further, in one of the multifarious Café Puke outlets, a customer who had been imbibing café cortados for over an hour, passed out with shock…
© Paul Trevor Nolan 2022
Notable shots in this segment must include 1, which is the reverse negative of one of Tooty the Chef’s creations. 5, which, if you’ve ever read/suffered the original earplug story – 2014’s The Museum of Future Technology – you might recognise this as a slight re-work of the proton torpedo one of the Earplug Brothers hoped to see upon ,entering the building for the very first time. It’s an out-of-focus Christmas light, by the way. I had no SFX back then. And 12. It was only after I tried to shoehorn the giant wall screen into the picture that I realised that everyone would have their backs turned to it. So I went with the idea of their collective denial. Well its probably what they would have done anyway: most earplugs are not really the heroic types.
Tooty Nolan: Languishing Somewhere Between Clever and Stupid 