The Epoch of Dung (part 8) An Earplug Adventure


A short distance farther on, Ragi Half-Nelson had found a narrow ‘bridge’ of her own. She also showed some pluck by walking straight across it…

Sadly, Wendy was doing less well – especially when the experienced Precipitous Ledge Walker, Greta began making the ‘bridge’ sway from side to side…

Whilst Wendy screamed incoherently, Horst chuckled to himself. “Oh what fun we are having, ja?” He said.

Others, though, were having less fun. Having been shown their ‘apartment’, former inmates of Sloshed Antlers Penitentiary, the square-eyed Yelli Smellow, Flob Cunundrum, and their red female parole officer, Gladys Pipe, were in the process of discovering that several amenities were yet to be added to the basic structure…

 

“No sink?” Yelli growled like the former felon he was. “How am I gonna brush my teeth before bed?”

However, Gladys had greater concerns. “I’m afraid you won’t be going to bed.” She informed Yelli. “No one has cut an opening for a bedroom door!”

Through the aforementioned wall, a trio of earplugs overheard this statement of fact…

“Yelli Smellow?” One of them hissed quietly. “This is my bedroom: I don’t want him or his kind in here with me.”

Things could have been worse though. Huget Johnson, who usually crewed aboard the KT Woo with his wife Betty, had discovered that his stairs were yet to be installed…

Unlike Yelli, he did actually possess a bedroom: he just couldn’t access it.

Better news included the discovery that Belle had found her false eyelashes, and was now in conversation with some new recruits to TWIT…

“Do you like your new quarters?” She inquired.

“It’s lovely,” one youth replied. “But not as lovely as you. Wanna kiss?”

A short while later, after Belle had re-joined with Margret, they both encountered Rupert Piles and his enormous 3D TV camera…

“When the tsunami struck, I had a choice.” Rupert told them, “It was either the contents of my underpants drawer; the file containing my home insurance; or my enormous 3D TV camera. The camera is lined with sound deadening insulation that makes it lighter than water:  so it was a no-brainer. I’m very disappointed that the decals have peeled off though. But it has a built-in Nul-Space generator and unlimited memory capacity, so I’m shooting everything for posterity.  Smile now: let’s see those pearlies.”

A short while later, members of the sewage workers union accosted Margret…

“Hey,” Marty Friedpants complained to her, “some people say we smell. Well if we do, that’s because, as sewage workers, it’s up to us to carry the plugmutt poop to the straw and mud depot, where other members of our union stir it together to make building materials. Whatta ya think?”

“Think?” Margret replied sharply. “What am I supposed to think? Rephrase the question in a way that I can comprehend and answer to the best of my ability.”

“Do we smell?” Marty demanded. “Or what?”

“Oh, what.” Margret answered positively. “Definitely what.”

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2022

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