Earplug Adventures: The Lines of Tah-Di-Tah (part 2)


Okay, there are still hundreds of pictures that need shooting to complete The Lines of Tah-Di-Tah; but I figured, if I had enough scenes for the next segment, why not write it up and put it on the Internet? So I did – and here it is…

Chapter 1

At exactly thirteen o’clock, the doors of the Museum of Future Technology’s Grand Hall opened for those fortunate earplugs who, the evening previous, had won tickets to attend the wedding of Magnuss Earplug and Hair-Trigger Provost…

It was an excited assemblage that took their positions and jabbered quietly amongst themselves as they waited for the moment of truth that so many had been expecting for months, if not years…

Of course many more could not be allowed inside…

Health and Safety rules forbade the possibility of unruly crowds. Cushions had foreseen this and so the museum’s entire contingent of RoboSecGuas were deployed to control the frustrated masses who wanted nothing more than to gaze upon the marriage of two of the museum’s greatest heroes. But it wasn’t all bad for those inconvenienced by exclusion: Rupert Piles was there with his huge 3D TV camera…

…with which he would broadcast the images and sounds of proceedings upon huge screens across the entire vast edifice…

Even Café Puke outlets were tuned into the correct frequency…

So its patrons were the first to see the museum’s beautiful Avatar as she/it prepared to assist The Angel with a Huge Nose, who would conduct the marriage ceremony…

And everyone cheered when they realised that the post-ceremony entertainment would include the mariachi band, Las Bragas de Alegría…

Naturally luminaries from many of the museum’s sections had been invited…

These included the Time Techs and members of T.W.I.T….

…who stood beside Magnuss’ Auntie Doris and her beau, K’Plank the Space Wanderer, who had dispensed with his familiar space helmet and had dyed his beard a deeper black than was usual for him. Of course curators were notable by their sheer numbers…

…behind whom Police Constable Salisbury Wilts attempted to go incognito beneath the shadow of Sir Dodger Muir. Only his police helmet gave away his secret location. To one side stood a contingent of the United Stoats 7th Cavalry…

…some of which were to be the happy couple’s guard of honour. Even a number of mutants that Magnuss and Hair-Trigger had rescued from Mutant Island attended, and stood beside the disco king, Hambledon Bohannon, whilst enjoying a cup of Café Puke’s caramel latte…

Far away, aboard the Chi-Z-Sox, husband and wife geniuses (or genii, as they preferred to be known) Professor Hydious and Doctor Putridity Gout watched on the main viewer…

“Oh, look, Hydious,” Putridity yelped in delight, “it’s some of those ghastly beings we liberated from the doomed island of Doctor Adolf Weil-Barrau!”

“Yes, dearest,” Hydious replied, “the one we blew up with an atom bomb: I remember. But I’m paying more attention to those lovely, leggy dancing girls in front of Hambledon Bohannon.”

Of course, the lovely leggy dancing girls to whom the captain of the Chi-Z-Sox referred were none less that Margret Greenhorn and her Greenhorn Girls…

…who had arrived in the Museum of Future Technology, a couple of years earlier, following their escape from an alternative reality in which their museum had been overcome by an ice-age. And there were other famous faces there too. Really famous faces. Really important famous faces. World leaders in fact. Nigel – the Golden One of the planet Scroton to be exact…

…whose bright blue plume came to the attention of Hambledon Bohannon.

“Gotta get that plume, man.” He said to himself. “It’s a real groove, baby. Maybe I’ll ask for it after the show – assuming these other Ethernet Cable End guys let me anywhere near the golden dude.”

Little did Hambledon suspect it, but proceedings were being monitored by the secret controllers of Scroton in their subterranean base of operations…

Nigel had arrived on Earth via a space ship; but the workers for the creators of the Ethernet Cable End civilisation could call upon the super-advanced technology of their masters and, in the blink of an eye, whisk their leader away to the safety of Scroton.

Frisby Mumph had arrived from Mars via the early morning Mars shuttle…

He’d brought a representative of the Martian people – or Muffins as they preferred to be known – with him. And his robotic assistant, Tangerine, was enjoying its first trip to Earth since it had been built there long ago. They stood beside two members of the museum’s robotic staff; a random RoboSecGua and an even more random Robot Guide.

Of course no event would be complete without the museum’s resident ‘soul’ group – The Trumptations…

And Chester’s girlfriend, the huge amorphous green blob from the Age of Stone stood in her six-part earplug configuration beside the Trumptations’ falsetto lead, Cory Turpentine…

…where she smiled pleasantly at everyone and everything, irrespective of their location. She continued to smile as the lights dimmed and Las Bragas de Alegría stepped forward to deliver a mariachi version of the Wedding March…

Then, as the lights assumed their brightest illumination, the Earplug Brothers marched into the Grand Hall…

Of course all five wore their famous, if slightly battered, Cossack hats. As Rupert Piles rushed in for a close-up, they were welcomed by the Angel with a Huge Nose.

As Rudi, Valentine, Chester, and Miles took up their pre-determined positions…

  …Magnuss did likewise with his. Then, to a fanfare from Las Bragas, Hair-Trigger took centre stage…

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2021

This is it, Earpluggers: the moment every Magnuss and Hair-Trigger fan has been waiting for: they’re gonna get married! Or are they? Might something go wrong before they tie the marrital knot? It is the Museum of Future Technology after all…

 

 

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