Earplug Adventures: The Age of Stone (part 23)


Such were their taut nerves that seconds seemed to lengthen into minutes. But it was only a few heartbeats before the Wonky Supreme Being burst from his alien realm and into the Age of Stone exhibit…

“Hah.” He roared in assumed triumph. “You could have taken this laying down: but, no, you wanted a fight. Well I’m here to tell you – there isn’t going to be a fight, because you’re just five puny earplugs; and I’m something special. And worse still, for you stupid quintet of over-confident fools, I’m wearing this!”

The earplug Brothers weren’t familiar with Atomic Boiler Suits. “Is that good?” Magnuss inquired with a steady voice.

“Good?” The Wonky SB replied loudly and with a degree of disbelief. “It’s bloody marvellous. The fabric of this garment makes me utterly invincible. It was made by an artisan seamstress from a realm way…way…higher on the evolutionary scale than this vile place. And it can’t be breached by any form of energy weapon. And my pretentious hat is just the icing on the cake: it’s made of the same stuff.”

It was clear to the boys that they had a fight on their hands, even if Wonky SB thought they didn’t. They raised their psychic shield…

The Wonky SB repeated his opening “Hah!” before opening with a salvo of thunderbolts…

…which were easily repelled by the psychic shield…

So a slightly surprised Wonky SB let rip with multiple salvoes…

Again the psychic shield shrugged the massive energy from its non-existential flanks. But the backdraft of the assault swept around the stone-built edifice and assailed the boys with a terrible hurricane of displaced air – knocking the two brothers who stood at either end across the room and down an adjacent corridor. At this point the battle would have been lost; but Susan hadn’t been able to allow herself to leave the area. She simply had to stay and help her Chester. So it was she who rushed from the relative safety of an alcove and caught Miles in her massive maw…

…whilst lassoing Valentine with a part of her that she didn’t like to talk about – even to her doctor…

Within seconds they were back in place beside their brothers…

Although he stood in absolute silence, Magnuss spoke to the others with his mind: “That atomic boiler suit material may be impregnable, but did you hear what he said about its construction? It was made by a seamstress: that means that it’s stitched together. That’s its weakness: the threads that bind it together. Now if only we had some means of attacking those threads.”

“Laser beam eyes would be good.” Chester suggested. “Everywhere we looked, ravaging beams of energy would follow. We could simply burn the bindings away, and the garment would fall apart.”

“Great,” Rudi joined the mental conversation, “but we aint got no laser beam eyes. Or laser beam toes, for that matter. Anyone got a laser beam bum handy?”

“Put your faith in the Supreme Being.” Magnuss responded to this. “He told us we have the means to defeat the Wonky SB. If we need laser beam eyes for that – laser beam eyes we will have. Trust me.”

Meanwhile the Wonky SB had grown curious. Firstly he wondered quite how they had survived his attack. Secondly, he wondered why they were standing before him and doing absolutely nothing. To satisfy his curiosity, he bent forward for a better view…

“Ugh?” He queried.

He had just enough time to stand upright again before Magnuss said calmly: “Gentlemen; select your targets.”

A split second later orange beams of intense light leapt from the eyes of the Earplug Brothers…

And, just as Chester had foretold, wherever they chose to look, the laser beams followed a micro-second later. They simply couldn’t miss…

“Argh,” the Wonky SB cried out in horror as he reached for his falling headwear, “not my pretentious hat!”

But worse was to follow…

…as the beams burned away the stitching that held the atomic boiler suit together.

“Yikes, this is bad.” The Wonky SB bellowed with rage and despair. “The silly old bat forgot to use invincible cotton thread. The next time I see her I’ll give her a bloody good kick up the arse!”

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2021

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