Earplug Adventures: The Age of Stone (part 22)


In response the Supreme Being lowered the party of earplugs into the soup of reality…

And with a look of complete self-satisfaction…

…he dismissed them – to the Age of Stone exhibit inside the Museum of Future Technology…

“Spectacular.” Susan spoke appreciatively. “So what are we doing back here? Is the SB going to help, or not?”

Of course the Earplug Brothers knew exactly why they had been returned to the Age of Stone. They also knew what was required of them. Chester took Susan aside…

Neither of them noticed that the rock formation looked exactly like a duck’s arse.

“Susan,” he said, “the showdown with Wonky is coming soon. This is a battle you can’t fight. And if you get hurt, I’m not sure that I’ll be much help to my brothers. So it’s very important that you go hide yourself away.”

For a moment Susan was overcome with emotion…

Chester hadn’t anticipated this reaction. “Oh, Sue, don’t go to pieces on me now.”

“But I’m part of the Age of Stone exhibit.” She mumbled from somewhere on the floor. “I can’t abandon it in its hour of need. And I can’t abandon you either. Oh Chester, you’re such a lovely little pinky-orange guy: I want to be by your side through thick and thin. I’d even watch TV poker, late at night with you – if you really insisted. And I’d get you an omelette too – if you were feeling peckish. And olives.”

Chester committed himself to an, “Um…” before Susan lunged at him and planted a huge kisser all over his face…

“Please let me join this fight.” She added from some other source that Chester couldn’t readily identify. “I beg of you.”

Lack of oxygen gave wings to Chester’s thought processes. “Your firewalls.” He managed. “Someone has to manage those that link this place with the museum proper. They’ll stop Wonky from carrying this fight into the defenceless museum. If you separate into your earplug forms, I believe there are just enough of you to carry out the task.”

Five minutes later, and following a plethora of kisses, Chester went to join his brothers…

“Come back safe and sound.” They called as one. “There’s more where that came from.”

Shortly the Earplug Brothers stood shoulder to shoulder…

“Okay,” Magnuss said, “if I’ve got this right, we already have the tools to defeat the Wonky SB. It’s just a matter of utilising them to their best effect.”

“Hmm,” an unconvinced Miles responded, “I would have felt better with some heavyweight backup though. That God of Leathery Balls looked like a mean hombre.”

Magnuss considered this for a nanosecond or two. He could understand Miles’ disappointment. But Miles hadn’t been inside the booth. He hadn’t had his head expanded. Magnuss felt certain that something other than information transference had occurred inside that booth. But right now he didn’t know what it was, so he kept quiet upon the subject. Instead he said: “Right, we need to get the Wonky SBs attention. Any suggestions?”

Well, for the next hour the heroic quintet marched around the exhibit shouting this such as: “Wonky is a wally.” And “Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough.” They even broke wind and made disparaging comments concerning his parentage. But to no avail. Night soon fell inside the Age of Stone, and their marching had reduced to a meandering wander…

…and their yells were interspersed with yawns. They were considering going for a coffee, when, suddenly an unnatural occurrence…um…occurred

A portal appeared to form in the solid castle wall. This, in itself, was not incontrovertible proof that the Wonky Supreme Being was about to appear: but the alteration in the exhibit’s ambient colouration certainly was…

“Oh, bum.” Magnuss whimpered. Then gathering his courage he snapped: “Shoulders straight, boys.” He then confused the twins (but impressed his elders) by using an ancient military term: “Don’t fire until you see the whites of their eyes.”

He said no more because a form appeared inside the portal…

Then something of the extra strength that Magnuss so hoped he’d gained whilst inside the booth permeated through his siblings…

They didn’t know what to expect; but the Earplug Brothers were free of doubts: they were ready for battle.

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2021

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