Earplug Adventures: The Age of Stone (part 17)


Meanwhile, in another compartment entirely, Rudi and Valentine were checking out the ship…

“Yeah, sure the outside and the bridge look just like the Chi-Z-Sox,” Rudi said to his brother, “but these corridors are completely new.”

“Sho-nuf dig the hue, bro.” Valentine replied. “But I keep catching my knees on these sticky-out pipes. Hey, patella pain, man.”

At that particular moment, the warning light on the Fanangy-valve cover decided to glow green…

“Ah-hah.” Budgitte exclaimed triumphantly. “I’ll call the bridge: we can get under way once more.”

But in the moment between saying the words and engaging the intercom, the ship went to crimson alert…

For a brief moment neither Rudi nor Valentine, knew how to react. What could possibly cause a crimson alert in the depths of space? They were temporarily befuddled.

The situation on the bridge wasn’t much better…

“Did anyone notice that blue planet that we passed after emerging from Hyperspace?” Magnuss inquired.

He received a plethora of shaken heads.

“What of it, Magnuss?” All of Susan’s parts spoke as one.

“Well,” Magnuss started nervously, “I could be wrong; but I think our sensors have detected a beam of some sort emanating from it. Hence the somewhat vague warning on screen.”

“What can we do about it?” They all inquired.

Magnuss had to think about that. Eventually, following a series of ‘ums’ and ‘ahs’ he answered: “Well we could turn off our sensors, which the people on the planet might consider rude and inflammatory: or we could fly away really quickly before they decide to open fire.”

“I like both options.” The principal Susan in the Captain’s chair replied. “Let’s get the heck outta here!”

On the lower deck, Rudi and Valentine had much the same idea…

…and quickly raced back to their duty stations on the bridge. But before the vessel could initiate a starting procedure for the repaired star drive motor or even the manoeuvring jets, a sensor beam of unimaginable intensity leapt from the planet towards the Rhubarb Crumble…

A split second later crimson alert was cancelled by an exterior force. This was quickly followed by the appearance of a familiar face upon the main viewer…

“What?” A  surprised Supreme Being both exclaimed and demanded at the same time, which, of course, is the way of omnipotent beings. “The Earplug Brothers? What the flipping heck are you doing out here? Oh, don’t tell me: you’re on Museum business. Further, I’d wager you’re in some kind of kaka that you need help getting out of. Okay – not that I’m really interested, you must understand – but what’s your problem? I probably owe you a favour.”

Magnuss spoke the six words (or seven if you count a contraction as two words) that he was certain would gain the Supreme Being’s attention like no others: “The Wonky Supreme Being.” He said. “He’s back.”

Well, to say that this news shook the Supreme Being would be the understatement of the year. If he’d been an earplug, he would have pooped in his pants…

But, following several seconds of demented raging, SB calmed himself sufficiently to merely steam lazily…

“Okay,” he said, “While I calm myself into a more acceptable God-like state, please follow my trail to the Galactic Court. You’ll see a big sign telling you to go away. But ignore that: just drive up and park your puny vessel.”

So, feeling rather pleased with himself, Magnuss asked Susan to do just that. And a half-hour later, dead ahead of the Rhubarb Crumble, the planet of the Galactic Court suddenly appeared out of nowhere…

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2021

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