Earplug Adventures: The Age of Stone (part 3)


Naturally it was Magnuss who led the way through the rather uninspiring pedestrian door. As his eyes accustomed themselves to the reduced level of illumination, his silicon brain was seared by utter disbelief at the sheer scale of The Age of Stone exhibit…

“Cor,” he said, “look at the size of this, guys: it aint half-big!”

And, as Rudi, Valentine, Chester and Miles joined their ultra-adventurous sibling…

…none of them were about to argue with his summation.

“Flipping heck, Magnuss,” Chester yelled, “there’s not just this nearby castle: but another one all the way over there too!”

Miles, Chester’s twin, quickly added: “But it’s a bloody long walk. Let’s check out this nearby castle: there might be a pneumatic rapid-transit system that will carry us there in a jiffy and thereby save our ecologically-resourced shoe leather.”

So, without further ado, they set off towards the most obvious opening in the mighty stone walls of the nearby ‘castle’…

“Hey man,” Valentine complained, “the picture on the welcome sign was sho’nuf  shot in Summer. Why do we have to get here in Winter, huh?”

It was fair question: and when it began to pseudo-snow…

…the others began complaining too. In fact they were becoming more and more cheesed-off. Chester, in particular, was suffering badly: he almost choked on a false snowflake that accompanied the air that entered his lungs…

“Hmm,” Magnuss, who led the way, said quietly to himself, “might have to have a word with the Health and Safety Committee about that, despite the fact that I loathe them for their officiousness and nit-picking pedantry.”

This was quickly followed by: “And I think the museum will need to supply thermal underpants too: I’m feeling decidedly fragile in the botty area.”

Everyone assumed that the ‘weather’ was nothing more than a welcoming stunt. That the situation would quickly improve, and that (instead of suffering chilblains) they could all begin to pay rapt attention to the remarkable ‘stone’ technology of the future era from whence it came. But they were wrong…

“Crikey, it’s getting worse, rather than better.” Magnuss said out loud.

But Miles didn’t mind one bit: he loved playing in the snow – even if it wasn’t real. But after a while, even he agreed that finding shelter should be a priority…

So, whilst Miles, Chester, and a still-grumbling Valentine ensconced themselves in an alcove that might have been a futuristic stone telephone booth, Magnuss and Rudi soldiered on in search of someone who could tell them where to go and what to do…

But somehow they became separated in the virtual virtual-whiteout, and Magnuss, in his panic, began trying any door he could find…

Even back doors! Fortunately this one gave way to his insistent hammering, and once again his eyes were assailed by lighting of the inferior kind. But when the door began closing behind him, and the room came into focus, he couldn’t believe what he was looking at…

It was big and green and scary on at least thirteen levels of buttock-puckeringness…

Then, to complete Magnuss’ horror, it did this…

Of course Magnuss turned to flee. But it was too late: the surprisingly nimble giant made an impossible leap and landed on top of the unfortunate earplug…

Ooof!

©Paul Trevor Nolan 2021

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