More Bottom of the Freezer Cooking (with your chef Tooty Nolan)

Well, following the huge success of my last B.O.T. F. C post, I thought the time right for a second helping, so to speak. Inspiration was born out of necessity. I had a few ropy lumps of veg hanging around, which needed cooking before they became inedible, (that’s right, I don’t believe in throwing food away. It’s not that I’m a skinflint: I just feel that its plain wrong to do so) and precious little else in the fridge. So it was ‘raid the cupboard and freezer time’. Hurrah: another Tooty Concoction!” And this is how it should be done…

First up, microwave the ropy veg. Then slice a few potatoes – preferably ropy ones that need using up. Microwave them too. Did I mention you’d need a microwave? Well you do. Better still try two – because you are going to need another one to microwave a lump of frozen cod, which you will then crumble. Meanwhile open a packet of something similar to this…

…and stir it into the requisite volume of milk, which then goes on to the hob to be boiled into a bubbling cauldron from hell. Meanwhile open that can of red salmon (that’s been bugging you by always sitting in front of whatever you want at the back of the cupboard) and drain off the juice. Place the sliced potatoes in the bottom of a baking…er, I don’t know the correct gastronomic term…let’s call it a bowl. Then add the ropy veg, followed by the cod and salmon. It should look exactly like this…

Strictly speaking you could eat it like this: it’s all been cooked after all. But no, add that sauce…

Back to the fridge now. Some ageing cheese should be crying out from behind the Boursin and spreadable butter, beneath the forgotten vodka spritzer on the lower shelf. Grate some Cheddar and Mozzarella and liberally coat…

Then shove it in the oven at max power until the cheese has melted and the concoction is bubbling merrily. The result will look like this…¬†

Then serve it up; sit back and watch it disappear rapidly; collect the empty plates; then listen to the family say things like; “That was yum: we’ll have that again!” Or, in the case of my wife, on the ‘phone to a friend: “Yes, it was very nice. I’ve never¬† tasted anything quite like it before; but it was nice.”