Bottom of the Freezer Cooking (with your chef Tooty Nolan)

Everyone knows how easy it is to fill the family freezer to bursting point. Miss-matched items just seem to proliferate behind our backs. Well I’m not immune myself. In fact I’m so un-immune that I had to buy a second freezer – which quickly duplicated the first. The kitchen cupboards aren’t any better. If anything, they’re actually worst. I had to build some hidden shelving, just to house the tins of baked beans,chopped tomatoes, pasta, and sweet and sour sauce that were threatening to tear the high-level units off the wall. And I don’t want to think about what’s lurking in the cupboard under the stairs! So, recently, I thought the time was right for a purge. I don’t mean throwing good food away: I mean using the stuff up, irrespective of it’s suitability. And just to show you well it can work, if a little imagination is used, here is the photographic journey of last night’s meal that I shared with my two hungry children.

First up I thought I’d use some sausages that were so ghastly when we first tried them, a couple of years ago, that we vowed never to touch them again…

A quick defrost in the microwave and an even quicker chop…

Then its virgin olive oil in the pan…

Turn on the gas at a medium heat…

…and start sizzling…

And just to prove that it really is your favourite author doing all the donkey work…

Next up is pretty obvious. It has to be that split bag of potato and leek soup mix vegetables…

In it goes…

Crikey, those potatoes are gonna take some cooking!

Okay, now for the wall units. Ah, what’s this? Perfect – that’s what it is…

Right then – chuck it in…

Nice, but not quite there yet. I know: there must be five or six packs of that freezer-burnt pulled ham in the bottom drawer…

Yup – in that goes too…

But wait – those potatoes are still half-raw. Some boiling water should take care of that..,

Simmer for eternity…

Then select a bed upon which to lay this fabulous concoction…

Kinda similar: They’ll do – especially since they’ll take a mere four minutes in the microwave to cook. And they did too…

May I present Tooty’s Cat Sick Supper. Weird, but wonderful. Well, edible anyway. Which shows that if the sauce is strong enough, any old crap will make a tasty meal.

Great Nook Spikes!

At first glance that title might appear nonsensical. Who is Great Nook and what has he/she spiked? Sadly it’s nothing so fascinating: just me bringing some book sales stats to your attention. It’s just that recently there has been a slight spike in my book sales – notably the ‘Silent’ books…

…which is excellent: they are (after all) my better work. But, in the time honoured fashion, all sales have been to Barnes & Noble Nook users. Once again the Kindle readers have been left languishing in their wake – having taken only the ‘freebie’ Junior Earplug Adventure e-books. Hip, hip, hooray to all you Nook readers: and yah-boo sucks to the freeloaders – unless you come back to buy some of the non-freebie tales, in which case I would have to tell you that I love each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart. But, at the moment, I only love you from the heart of my bottom. So get on over to the sidebar (or the relevant page beneath the header above, if you’re using a tablet or phone to view this) and start selecting a wondrous e-tome or two. Stand out from the crowd why don’t you!