The Time Tamperer (part 32)

Meanwhile the temporally lost trio of kitchen workers, Duncan, Saxon, and Wilson, had discovered an unusual lavatory. They conjectured openly upon the subject…

“I would say,” Wilson said from inside the toilet, “that this was designed for a person with a real small pair of buttocks, man.”

“How so?” Duncan demanded.

“It has arms to hold my buttocks in place, and suction cups that grip my botty like a tenacious mollusc.” Wilson informed his small friend and catering colleague.

“I think I have the answer.” A thoughtful Saxon said. “You’re describing a space loo.” He then explained: “A normal toilet won’t work in space: in the event of an artificial gravity failure, the astronaut might float off and potentially leave residue of frightful awfulness all over the place. Imagine how dreadful that would be if the toilet was located next to the galley!”

The thought was too monstrous to contemplate; but it did inspire the trio to seek an answer to the mystery. And within minutes they met with success…

“Ah-hah, that explains it.” Duncan said, with a knowing grin.

“We should have guessed.” Saxon agreed. “All the clues were there. This is the Museum of Future Technology after all.” He stressed the word ‘future’.

But Wilson was almost in a state of shock. “It’s an exhibit.” He said with an unsteady warble in his voice. “An exhibit of a future space ship. But we know this space ship. It’s the Chi-Z-Sox!”

He continued to experience amazement as they rushed to try the Captain’s Chair…

“Just how far in time have we travelled?” Wilson finished.

Duncan’s mind boggled at the thought. But all that Saxon could think to say was: “Hey, the main screen doesn’t work, man. We can’t see out.”

This was unfortunate, because when they finally departed the exhibit, circumstances forced them to shrink against the wall as…

…a patrol of RoboSecGuas trundled by. What particularly concerned them was that the patrol – for that was surely what it was – comprised very tatty security servo-mechanisms that had clearly seen recent active duty that had left them scarred and battered…

“What the flip has been going on here?” Duncan whispered. “I wish we could leave straight away. As much as I loathed my worthless job, I pine for El Ciudad De Droxford!”

So when, having decided to follow the unobservant patrol, they encountered a strange red earplug…

… of whom they asked the way to the nearest time machine, they were disappointed not to receive the helpful answer they’d expected…

“Who the heck are you?” A surprised Piggies Du Pong demanded. “You’re not supposed to be here. I should know: I’ve planned each and every moment here for years!”

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2018



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