Junior Earplug Adventures: The Island of Doctor Wiel-Barrau (Episode 13)

“Well,” Adolf continued as Gwen and Neezup recalled the occasion, “little were you knowing it, but I was also visiting your future husbands too.”

“They were telling me that they thought you two were being gorgeous and scrumptious and desirable on at least seventeen levels of lusciousness. So I was doing to them what I did to you…

I was using my massive mental capacity to influence you through the medium of telepathic mesmerism. A sort of hypnotism that would give you the confidence to chat the boys up. I was doing the same for Cuthbert and Bob also.

Even if it did look like I was experiencing the most terrible constipation imaginable. But it was working really good. Soon you were doing the talky-talky stuff.

And before long…

…the four of you were seeing the concert from inside the hall. Good this is being, ja? Play that funky music, Earplug!”

“But what about us?” Colin demanded. “Did you visit us too? I don’t recall seeing the Trumptations. I don’t even like soul music: it makes me feel nauseous.”

“Ach, boys.” Adolf replied. “For you I was requiring a different desire. Let me be telling you about it.”

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2017

 

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Junior Earplug Adventures: The Island of Doctor Wiel-Barrau (Episode 12)

Five minutes later, after a circumbendibus route through a labyrinth of walkways, corridors and futuristic urinals, Adolf finally led his visitors to an elevator that carried them all to…

 

“Be welcome to my command centre.” He said as they emerged from the elevator pod. “It’s where I am controlling every aspect of my island – except the sewerage, of course: that is taking care of itself – being entirely natural, using sphagnum moss and biological composting to break down all the kaka and sploshy stuff. Oh, look, here is coming my assistants to work all this techno-stuff, whilst I am doing all the clever bio-engineering and DNA re-sequencing.”

As good acolytes, Darcy, Norma, and Daffney proceeded straight to their work stations…

…and ignored all of Adolf’s boasting and back-to-front sentences and confused tense-usage as he showed his ‘guests’ around…

“So,” Adolf said as he concluded the brief tour, “now I am coming to your question of earlier. How was I summoning you here? Well the answer to that is taking us back a few months. Are any of you recalling the Trumptations’ concert of two years ago?”

“You know, the one where they were coming down from the stage and singing directly to their fans? It was great. Everyone was really enjoying it…

Well you guys were waiting outside…

You weren’t knowing each other back then, of course. You were too shy. You were wanting to say ‘hello’ but you all feared rejection. You were needing a boost of confidence. Entering from stage left is Doctor Wiel-Barrau.”

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2017

Junior Earplug Adventures: The Island of Doctor Wiel-Barrau (Episode 11)

Whilst Magnuss and Hair-Trigger continued to race across the sky at a ridiculous speed, Daffney De Mauritania brought Adolf the news that Darcy and the visitors were approaching his secret facility…

“Excellent.” He replied. “Just as it should be. Have them brought to me immediately. Well not immediately exactly: I need to visit the toilet first.”

Outside Adolf’s secret facility, Darcy led the six survivors of the sunken rafts across a ramp above a moat, towards the front door…

But, despite putting on her best ‘suggesting’ voice, they hesitated. They simply didn’t believe her when she said: “Oh look, it must be safe inside; there’s Rudi and Valentine Earplug escorting K’Plank the Space Wanderer to the ice cream parlour.”

And they were even more unconvinced when the supposed door suddenly showed…

…K’Plank and Chester Earplug exchanging brain cells.

“I don’t know.” Gwen said. “My pants might be sodden and my stomach growls like an angry monitor lizard: but these illusions are making me very reluctant to enter this previously unknown island facility. I think my husband, my sister and her husband, and these two fine fellows behind us agree wholeheartedly.”

Inside the real (non-camouflaged) door, Adolf waited impatiently. He’d been to the loo: now all he wanted was to meet and greet those he had summoned from a distant land…

So he shouted: “Stop arseing about on that ramp like a flock of lame-brained peewits; get your lazy asses inside right now!”

Well this was all the impetus Cuthbert required to push past his wife and stumble through the disappointingly circular door…

And it was only a moment later that everyone else followed…

“Follow me.” Adolf instructed the new arrivals as he looked back over his shoulder to see if they were complying with his instruction.

He wasn’t surprised when Gwen spoke up: “How did you summon us here?” She inquired. “No one phoned: the Internet only works spasmodically in Lemon Stone: and our fax machine has been broken for three years.”

“Ah.” Adolf said as he smiled to himself. “I was rather hoping someone would ask that question….

 

…It gives me the opportunity to tell you a little story about preparation for a wonderful future.”

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2017

 

Junior Earplug Adventures: The Island of Doctor Wiel-Barrau (Episode 10)

Meanwhile, high above the Museum of Future Technology, Magnuss and Hair-Trigger were thoroughly enjoying themselves…

“Wheee.” They yelled with glee as…

…they blasted upwards until they were higher than the clouds, where they whooshed about like a…

…pair of oxygen-deprived idiots.

“Oh Magnuss,” Hair-Trigger squealed with delight, “I haven’t had this much fun since I single-handedly took out a platoon of Sentinel Robots with my trusty Seventh Cavalry Chichester Seventy-Three Blast  Rifle!”

Magnuss agreed. In fact he agreed so much that he felt compelled to turn the speed dial up another notch…

…which made his lips curl back and expose his incisors. This upset the delicate equilibrium in his nasal passages and also made his teeth hurt, and he was further compelled to act rashly – that being the undertaking of a power dive into thicker air…

…where he found Hair-Trigger having fun by cutting the power and gliding…

“Magnuss.” She called between bursts of thrust. “What makes these jet packs go? I mean, we didn’t put fuel in them: what makes their engines work.”

“Broadcast power.” Magnuss answered as he gasped in the feeble air. “The museum broadcasts the power to receivers in our jet packs, which, in turn, convert it into thrust. That’s why there’s no flames or heat. That’s why our socks and underpants haven’t caught fire.”

“Golly.” Hair-Trigger exclaimed. “Does it have much range? How far can we fly before we run out of power?”

“Theoretically it should be unlimited.” Magnuss replied. “If we could carry enough food and water, and maybe put on several vests and pairs of pants to keep us warm, we could fly right around world. It’s still half an hour until tea time: let’s see how far we can get in fifteen minutes.”

It was a stupendous idea, and only moments later both young earplugs were wanging along like an ace jet pack racing tag team…

It was difficult for either of them to speak as such a high speed, but using sign language, Magnuss managed to convey his next suggestion. A split second later Magnuss and Hair-Trigger were travelling at the earplug equivalent of…

…warp speed. But if they had known what was to come, they wouldn’t have bothered.

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2017