Junior Earplug Adventures: The Masters of Scroton (Part Twenty-Eight)

But before either girl could fully recover their wits, Ootis Wolliums introduced the night’s contestants – to rapturous applause…

Naturally the first round featured a simple warm-up procedure. Spectacular three-dimensional farts would follow later. First to step upon the stage was former burglar, Hellfire McWilliams…

…who was still learning the basics and who could manage nothing more than some air-staining. Hellfire was replaced with former scout ship pilot, Atcherly Speekin…

…who impressed the audience greatly with his opening gambit. His replacement, in turn, was an expert in tutoring professional farters; but was an absolute beginner himself. His name was…

…Doctor Snippentuck – and he seemed inordinately pleased with his turquoise effort. But when the next contestant appeared…

…the fortnightly farting contest regulars cheered. Bonzo Crabtree was an officer of TWIT, and spent most of his time on duty at Fort Balderdash breaking wind. His opening shot certainly warmed up he room with a spectacular light show. But when the fifth contestant stepped upon the daïs, a silence fell upon the audience. Bubbly Salterton…

…was the first curator ever to enter the competition. But, sadly, he’d mistakenly worn his new nylon underpants, so when he let slip a gaseous emission, something unfortunate happened…

To be continued

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2017


About Tooty Nolan

Writer of silly tales, taker of pictures, and all round good egg
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