Earplug Adventures Portrait 1: Cold Night in an Earplug Forest

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Junior Earplug Adventures: The Missing (Part 12)

So without further ado, the formerly torpid duo staggered off in pursuit of the sound of pattering feet…

…despite the fact that Cabbaggio could no longer hear them. This was probably because Magnuss and Benjamin had paused to look with envy at the warm, inviting, waters of the indoor beach…

“Golly.” Benjamin said. “How I’d like to hurl my fevered body into that soft embrace.”

“Me too.” Magnuss agreed. “But we don’t have time for such luxuries.”

By chance, in an alternate realm, Magnuss’ brother, Chester, was sharing a public bath with Plopper O’Hooligan…

Unfortunately Plopper broke wind in a less than discreet manner, which was unfortunate because he was about to suggest that Chester and his brothers try to contact Magnuss using telepathy. Now, it seemed, the moment had passed and the opportunity to speak was lost.

But things could have been worse, because back in Benjamin’s reality…

…Cabbaggio and Vortexia had discovered the crashed time ship.

“Ooh,” Vortexia managed, “the thought of flying in that thing makes me feel all oogli-woogli. Do you think you could fly one of those, Cabbaggio?”

Cabbaggio didn’t reply: he was deep in thought. Well as deep in thought as a drunken earplug can get. As a result of this he experienced a smidgen of clarity:

“Vortexia.” He said as he tried to control his oral muscles. “I think we might have been invaded!”

Vortexia absorbed this. Five minutes later she replied: “What, by parasites, you mean?”

“No.” Cabbaggio responded with lightning speed two minutes later. “I mean the Museum of Future Technobabble. I think it might have been invaded by…ah…invaders.”

Thirty seconds later this news came as a shock to Vortexia: and so, in response, and dragging her husband along with her, she fled…

“We have to warn the authorities.” She screamed from the side of her mouth. “Otherwise the invading invaders will drink our entire stock of organically-brewed Offal-Stench beer. And that situation I simply couldn’t abide!”

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2017 

 

 

Sometimes Subtle Signage…

…can work wonders. For example, recently a lavatory light in my place of work failed. When a second followed suit, the lavatory was plunged into twilight…

So I doctored a ‘Caution Wet Floor’ sign…

And awaited results. The next day I was delighted to find…

Success!

Junior Earplug Adventures: The Missing (Part 11)

Of course no one knew, or could even guess, that two showgirls had apparently ‘winked’ out of existence. Least of all Magnuss, who, with Benjamin Booger beside him, continued to explore this strange, empty, alternate reality en route to the arboretum…

Of course, if he’d been looking in the right direction (and had the volume been turned up) he might have seen a distraught-looking museum A.I (Artificial Intelligence) on the public screen and discovered the answer to the mystery from the semi-sentient computer interface. But he didn’t, and duly continued in ignorance. Together they tried the main thoroughfare…

…but departed disappointed. Next stop saw them standing on the edge of the Woven Expanse…

But Magnuss quickly realized that it was probably the stupidest place in all creation to look for an earplug, because almost no one went there, and it was an awfully long walk across it to the Wide Blue Yonder, and finally his destination – the arboretum. So they thought of a possible shortcut and moved on to…

…the deserted hover-pad park, which pleased Benjamin because it reminded him of the time that he and his friend, Plopper, had visited the equivalent in Magnuss’s quantum reality…

Not that it helped any. So it was on to a public lavatory, which Magnuss was horrified to discover  lay dormant and unusable, with its door locked..

…and where Magnuss thought he caught a whiff of perfume and went in pursuit of it…

“Show-biz.” He said to Benjamin. “Some one from the entertainment industry has passed this way relatively recently. If we can just follow the expensive pong, we might find the owner.”

But Magnuss wasn’t the only earplug in town with sensitive sensory organs. Deep within the hover-pad park, behind a concrete-like upright…

…the museum drunk, Cabbagio Di Bikini was roused from his inebriated slumbers by the footfalls of the passing earplugs. Beside him lay his equally stoned wife, Vortexia.

“Vortexia,” he said in a slow slurring mangling of the spoken language, “I heard footsteps. We aint alone after all.”

Well if there was one thing that Vortexia disliked more than being sober, it was being all alone in a vast museum from the future. Like the gold medal-winning pole-vaulter she had once been in her youth, she leapt to her wobbly feet…

…and urged her pie-eyed, former decathlete, one-time starting quarterback for the Droxford Demons, previous Southern Centre Motocross Champion, and occasional glider pilot husband, to track the source of the sound.

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2017