Junior Earplug Adventures: The Masters of Scroton (Part Three)

Of course what Edni, Sponson, and Saskia had discovered was evidence of construction work that had been completed during an era prior to their kind being blessed with sentience and self-awareness, by a race of beings who were equally mysterious and beneficial to creatures such as Ethernet Cable Ends. Quite how the threesome were aware of the construction’s antiquity puzzled them. It was, as Edni was to put it later; “Like someone wrote it into our DNA. We just knew that it wasn’t the work of cable ends.”

So before long…

…they dared explore their new environment.

“Not sure about these low ceilings.” Saskia stated doubtfully.

“Yeah.” Sponson agreed. “Whomever built this place must have been a right short-arsed git.”

As they progressed through the silent subterranean world, their willingness to converse evaporated. Until…

…they found themselves looking down upon some kind of vast edifice of unknown design.

“I don’t like it.” Edni said nervously. “It has no right to be here.”

Saskia liked it even less. “Maybe it’s us who shouldn’t be here. Just look at it: all those evil pink lights: it’s so un-cable end-like”

So two of them did.

“I wonder if it has a working lavatory.” Sponson mused. “I’ve recently developed a gurgling sensation in my bowel.”

Suddenly a sense of urgency gripped Saskia and Edni. They’d been in Sponson’s company long enough to know that a gurgling sensation could quickly develop into a great outgassing of monstrous proportions.

“It’s bound to be just inside the front door.” A frightened Edni squeaked in a voice at least two octaves higher than usual. “Let’s go – really fast – like it’s a sporting event that we must either win or die horribly!”

So a few seconds later, after having traversed the downward slope in a world record time, the three lost desert-dwellers raced into the strange edifice’s foyer…

Of course Edni had been one hundred percent correct in her appraisal of the building’s architecture. But unfortunately the lavatory design presented a problem…

“I can’t ‘go’ in these.” Sponson complained. “They’re see-through. Everyone will see me!”

Paul Trevor Nolan 2017




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