Junior Earplug Adventures: We Stand Accused (Part 26)


The earplugs, to which the super-intelligent alien referred, were, of course, the lost trio on Mars. Although Billious continued to hallucinate, Kraken and Narlden suddenly got better…

And they were not best pleased.

“Arse!” They hissed in despairing unison.

But instead of feeling sorry for themselves, they went to find Billious. When they found him, they knocked him about a bit until he regained his wits; then set out in search of somewhere warmer…

Somewhere that none of them expected to find before they froze solid.

With almost every earplug in the Future Museum of Mars out searching for the lost youngsters, the Martian natives – or Muffins, as they preferred to be known – felt the need to assist…

Unused to snow at any time throughout the history of Mars, the Muffins suffered horribly in the chilly conditions. So they sent out their fearsome war robots instead…

Unfortunately the war robots were really only any good for shooting down approaching spacecraft, so, despite their spectacular olfactory arrays, they couldn’t find lost earplugs if their continued existence depended upon it. So Billious, Kraken, and Narlden continued to stumble aimlessly…

   

…until, finally, all trace of them was lost…

At the controls of the K T Woo, Hakking Chestikov sat indecisively…

hakking in captains chair 2

…and stared at the main viewer…

But little did he know that…

…Bottoms Barkingwell, whose tasks demanded that she work within the bowels of the huge vessel, and required rubber gloves and a large lavatory brush to complete to a satisfactory standard, spotted something that made her smile. And that something was none other that Captain Sinclair Brooch and his wife, Nancy…

…as they scurried along on their way towards the cabin, in which resided…

…the Cyber Oracle. So, after bringing the electronic fountain of knowledge up to date, Nancy said: “Oh Oracle, what the sodding hell are we supposed to do?”

In reply, the shocked Cyber Oracle said, “Flipping heck; that’s the most difficult question that I’ve ever been asked. It’s going to tax me to the very limits of my design parameters – perhaps beyond them. In fact so far beyond my design parameters is this question taxing me that it’s quite possible I might either make the final evolutionary step and gain true artificial sentience; or I might explode.”

“We don’t have time for this nonsense.” Sinclair snapped. “Pull yourself together: you’re the most advanced computer that ever existed on our doomed world, so aptly named, by an Earplug Brother, as Worstworld. Give me the blinking answer!”

Under such pressure, the logic circuits inside the Cyber Oracle shifted into overdrive. Three seconds later the response came:

“Yeah, I think I got it. The answer is…”

To be continued…

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2017

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About Tooty Nolan

Writer of silly tales, taker of pictures, and all round good egg
This entry was posted in Photography, Tooty Stuff, Writing / Books and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Junior Earplug Adventures: We Stand Accused (Part 26)

  1. Jayne higgs says:

    This is a very good story.

  2. Jayne higgs says:

    I would never believe it.Keep up the good work.

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