Junior Earplug Adventures: We Stand Accused (Part 4)

The overt confidence of Throgennis Frote, the sole earplug representative at the Galactic Court, evaporated beneath the gaze of a second Overrealm inhabitant…

“If you think,” it boomed as loudly as the first, “that we are going to show you a short little film cataloguing your species’ errors, or perhaps excerpts from your own miss-spent life, you are totally wrong. Oh no; there is none of that Sins of the Father nonsense in the Galactic Court. A species can’t be blamed for the behaviour of its forebears. No, what you are going to be called upon to defend are the actions of earplugs living right now. The first example are the passengers aboard this  former Pirate End Cap Attack Craft…

Throgennis was nonplussed…

“What?” He roared so indignantly that he might have spent several terms at the School of Advanced Indignation and earned a diploma in Indignancy with Iron Cross and Oak Leaf Clusters during that period. “I don’t know sod all about flying saucers and the people aboard them. How can you expect me to defend whatever they’re gonna do? I’ve never met them before.” He then added:  “You lousy rotten gits!”

But he was ignored, and the video proceeded to show the craft using improvised thrusters, powered by methane from the passenger’s digestive systems, as it approached a planet…

…that was located in a region of space far from where the craft had begun it’s journey…

Throgennis watched as it lowered itself against the gravity of a mysterious dark world…

And then was pleased beyond measure when the first creature to poke a tentative nose through the air lock was…

…not an earplug at all.

“Hah!” Throgennis scoffed. “That’s not an earplug at all. That’s a…”

The slightly iffy earplug delved deep into his recent memory to find the identity of the species that now stood at the threshold of the flying saucer. It came to him:

“That is an inhabitant of the world called Scroton.” He bellowed. “I don’t know this particular fellow’s name, but he or she comes from a world that was given it’s name by none other than the Museum of Future Technology’s greatest hero – Magnuss Earplug!”

“Funny you should mention that.” The vast alien replied. “Because…”

Then something happened on-screen that left Throgennis with the distinct feeling that his back was against the wall, and that the continued existence of the Earplug species relied upon what he did next…

“Oh bum.” He whispered. “I know them. That’s my hairdresser, Lucian Morecrisp, and his former weightlifting girlfriend, Nennigross Numbwinkle. I wonder what they’re doing on the far side of the universe: I saw them walking their pet plugmutt, Fang, only this morning.”

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2017


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