Junior Earplug Adventures: Natural Selection (Part 27)


…what I discovered was,” Magnuss paused – less for dramatic effect; but more to draw breath – before continuing: “that when the ship was returning to Earth, the crew discovered a wormhole in space – exactly half-way between Earth and the Moon. They considered it so important that they left a warning beacon orbiting the event horizon. All we need to do is use our communication equipment to locate it, and then blast in its direction by using the maneuvering thrusters. Then we enter the wormhole; travel through it; and end up somewhere else completely – possibly somewhere nice and safe – like a planet. We can worry about getting back to the museum later.”

It was a brilliant plan, and everyone who heard it said so. Except Wilhelm Von Schnottgobbling: “We don’t have no fuel for the thrusters either. We can’t steer.”

Magnuss was horrified at the news. “But, but,” he stammered, “without thruster fuel my plan won’t work! Whatta we gonna do?”

Fortunately for Magnuss and his terrestrial chums, the prospectors were very experienced in the art of improvisation. It was Galve Mullion who first summed up the true value of their situation: “This vessel is fitted with Bussard Collectors. With these we could collect the microscopic molecules of hydrogen that exist between the stars, and then refill our empty tanks. Sadly, at our present speed, that would take approximately one million years. But Tufty Jetski could have a simple answer to our problem.”

Tufty looked up. “Of course.” He yelled. “Why didn’t I think of it instantaneously? I do have the answer.”

With that he cast aside his Engineer’s helmet. Without hesitation the others matched his exuberant move…

Whilst others were either dismayed, appalled, or merely excited beyond measure, when he told them of his answer to their conundrum.

“What?” Catford screamed so shrilly that her taut lips exposed her upper incisors. “We have to do what?

Five minutes  later everyone assembled in the fuel reclamation section. And shortly after Tufty had shown the others what he required them to do, Magnuss took his place at the…

…emergency farting tube. He felt slightly embarrassed when everyone watched him insert the tube, which was quickly followed by an equally embarrassingly powerful botty bugle. But he felt immensely pleased with the resulting surge of flammable mist in the collection tank. He, alone, had produced enough intestinal gas to power at least a five second burn of the principal steering thruster. Naturally the others followed his lead. Even Fang added his two penny-worth…

…which came despite great discomfort for the loyal plugmutt. But when everyone had ‘done their bit’ for the cause, the tank meter read full…

Magnuss’s plan had the green light. It was a ‘go’!

To be continued…

© Paul Trevor Nolan

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About Tooty Nolan

Writer of silly tales, taker of pictures, and all round good egg
This entry was posted in Photography, Tooty Stuff, Writing / Books and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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