Junior Earplug Adventures: Those Magnificent Earplugs (Part 5)


“Well, byee.” Magnuss called as he re-entered the cupola. “I know you don’t understand my language, but I’d be awfully grateful if you told no one about this: I’m supposed to be incognito.”

Moments later the dumb-struck cable ends watched the saucer rise from the ground…

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“Was that pinky-orange thing a him or a her?” Hooter enquired of Rik.

“I don’t care one way or the other.” The former pleasure boat passenger said with a tremor of loathing. “I’m telling the authorities all about this – just as soon as I can find a reliable form of communication.”

But he couldn’t do anything right away because he was startled by the sound of an Angling Land Lobster Squid…

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…breaking wind a short distance away as it powered it’s way across the salt flats on a Land Lobster Land Speed record.

Meanwhile Magnuss had found a monster of his own. He decided to set the saucer down, and attempt inter-species communication…

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Unfortunately the alien beast was in possession of the most vile breath imaginable; and when it exhaled all over Magnuss…

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…the young adventurer decided to abort that particular mission, and resume his original quest. To this end he flew his saucer right across the ocean before landing once more…

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…upon a road that appeared to be lined by a tall wooden fence. But then astonishment struck him like a whack around the ear with a luke-warm kipper…

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…as he realized that this world was far more alien to him than he had imagined. The fence wasn’t a fence at all: it was…

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…a vast, incredible, monoculture crop that stretched as far as the eye could see. Suddenly doubt grasped Magnuss’ bowel like a vicious crab.

“Am I the earplug for this job?” He asked himself. “Might not Rudi have done it better? Perhaps Valentine – or even Miles and Chester?”

He would have felt even less certain if he’d known what was happening on the distant island where he’d dropped off Hooter and Rik van Tinkle…

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…because the aforementioned had finally stumbled upon a crofter’s cottage – complete with a working telephone.

“Hello.” Rik called into the dark recesses of the quaint building. “I need to use your ‘phone. I have an alien sombrero that will more than compensate you for the cost of calling the Central Security Suite.” 

Five seconds later the crofter stood proudly outside his cottage…

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…in Magnuss’ favourite hat, as he watched an Angling Land Lobster Squid defecate on the lawn…

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…and considered that life could be far worse – especially for whomever Rik was telling tales about on the phone to Central Security.

© Paul Trevor Nolan

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About Tooty Nolan

Writer of silly tales, taker of pictures, and all round good egg
This entry was posted in Photography, Tooty Stuff, Writing / Books and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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