Junior Earplug Adventures: Those Magnificent Earplugs (Part 5)

“Well, byee.” Magnuss called as he re-entered the cupola. “I know you don’t understand my language, but I’d be awfully grateful if you told no one about this: I’m supposed to be incognito.”

Moments later the dumb-struck cable ends watched the saucer rise from the ground…


“Was that pinky-orange thing a him or a her?” Hooter enquired of Rik.

“I don’t care one way or the other.” The former pleasure boat passenger said with a tremor of loathing. “I’m telling the authorities all about this – just as soon as I can find a reliable form of communication.”

But he couldn’t do anything right away because he was startled by the sound of an Angling Land Lobster Squid…


…breaking wind a short distance away as it powered it’s way across the salt flats on a Land Lobster Land Speed record.

Meanwhile Magnuss had found a monster of his own. He decided to set the saucer down, and attempt inter-species communication…


Unfortunately the alien beast was in possession of the most vile breath imaginable; and when it exhaled all over Magnuss…


…the young adventurer decided to abort that particular mission, and resume his original quest. To this end he flew his saucer right across the ocean before landing once more…


…upon a road that appeared to be lined by a tall wooden fence. But then astonishment struck him like a whack around the ear with a luke-warm kipper…


…as he realized that this world was far more alien to him than he had imagined. The fence wasn’t a fence at all: it was…


…a vast, incredible, monoculture crop that stretched as far as the eye could see. Suddenly doubt grasped Magnuss’ bowel like a vicious crab.

“Am I the earplug for this job?” He asked himself. “Might not Rudi have done it better? Perhaps Valentine – or even Miles and Chester?”

He would have felt even less certain if he’d known what was happening on the distant island where he’d dropped off Hooter and Rik van Tinkle…


…because the aforementioned had finally stumbled upon a crofter’s cottage – complete with a working telephone.

“Hello.” Rik called into the dark recesses of the quaint building. “I need to use your ‘phone. I have an alien sombrero that will more than compensate you for the cost of calling the Central Security Suite.” 

Five seconds later the crofter stood proudly outside his cottage…


…in Magnuss’ favourite hat, as he watched an Angling Land Lobster Squid defecate on the lawn…


…and considered that life could be far worse – especially for whomever Rik was telling tales about on the phone to Central Security.

© Paul Trevor Nolan


About Tooty Nolan

Writer of silly tales, taker of pictures, and all round good egg
This entry was posted in Photography, Tooty Stuff, Writing / Books and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s