Junior Earplug Adventures: Plunging into Peril (Part Twenty)

Because its designers were all native to a watery world, the Chi-Z-Sox had been fitted with emergency propellers. Some designers had thought them redundant at the time of the vessel’s construction, and openly mocked them. In fact they said that they ‘looked arse’. It seemed, initially at least, that those mocking butt-wipes had been right all along as those same propellor churned the sea water with apparent gross inefficiency with an inability to move the ship…


But when, after several seconds, the ship began to make forward progress through an unusually dense form of sea water, the props latched hold and it was suddenly most rapid…


“Yee-hah” Mister Splat yelled in an incredibly uncharacteristic manner. “That’ll show them – the scum-sucking svine-hunds – both those who mocked this wondrous vessel at its inception, and those who are shooting submarine energy weapons at it now!”

But he quickly shut his loose gob when a huge eye appeared on the main viewer…


“Stand down and prepare to surrender.” A huge voice boomed from the over-head speaker.

“Ignore it.” Gout instructed the bridge crew. “It’ll probably go away. Blow ballast and sink to the murky bottom.”

Moments later…


…the Chi-Z-Sox began a slow descent.


“Excuse me.” The huge voice boomed again. “Did you hear what I said?”

But no one took any notice. Then the owner of the eye peered straight into the ship through a side window…


“Little buggers, aint ya?” It observed. It then made an unexpected inquiry: “What do you want with my deuterium?”

Gout was confused…


“Deuterium? What deuterium?” He inquired in turn.

“This planet’s ocean is full of the poxy stuff. It makes it extra thick and slightly gooey.” The huge voice boomed testily. “But it’s all ours. We need it to power our advanced civilisation. So you’re not having a single drop of it, you thieving gits. Now surrender your stupid tin can to us, and your bodies into servitude – or face destruction!”

Gout spoke out of the side of his mouth: “Is that thing as big as it appears?”

Mister Splat adjusted the magnification of the view screen…


“Yes, Captain.” He answered. “It’s bloody huge!”

Gout tried to stay calm…


“Time to flee, methinks.” He whispered to the Throttleplug. “When I say ‘now’, you hit the turbo-jets button – okay? Now!”

A split second later…


“Whoo….” Several crew members yelled as they were pushed against their work stations by the sudden acceleration. “My guts hurt…”


And they were pushed even harder as speed increased with every passing second…


“Flipping heck,” Clasp Gytnor wailed, “they’re shooting at us again!”

© Paul Trevor Nolan




About Tooty Nolan

Writer of silly tales, taker of pictures, and all round good egg
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