Junior Earplug Adventures: Plunging into Peril (Part Ten)

Higher up the mountain, perched at the entrance of the gorge that led to Lemon Stone, Hugo Bernstoast and Austin Quango stood at the window of the sentinel post…


The snow of earlier had thawed, and the temperature had risen to something approaching double figures. But Hugo was smarting…


“The old Father Superior landed us with this lousy stinking job,” Hugo said to Austin, who was staring off into the distance, with his brain disengaged. “How say you that we go talk to the new Father Superior, and demand a new position in the monastery?”

Naturally he had to ask the question three times more before Austin dragged himself back into the moment with great reluctance.

“It’s a long walk.” Austin replied. “Are you sure you’re up for an extended act of physical activity?”

Surprisingly – at least for Austin – Hugo was only too keen to make the journey from the sentinel post to the monastery. So, a while later, Hugo and Austin found themselves ushered into Mister Zinc’s personal quadrangle, where he stood reading dirty books and taking the air with Blue…


Hugo could have been diplomatic. He could have scraped and pleaded. He could have been polite. Unfortunately his feet hurt like hell; he was exhausted; and he badly needed to visit the loo. So instead he said: Look, Father Whatever-Your-Name-Is, we’ve had enough poncing around looking for travellers and fleecing them. We want a decent job working indoors in relative warmth and comfort. And if we don’t get it, Austin here is gonna knock that stupid hat right off your ugly head, and stick it in your girlfriend’s ear!”   

Meanwhile, lonely little Buttox had grown desperate; and this desperation brought forth a brilliant idea:

“I know that the museum’s existence here defies logic on at least seventeen different levels; but I know, for absolute certain, that this is the real Museum of Future Technology. I also know that there’s only one group of people who could begin to make sense of the situation – and perhaps rectify it; and those people are the Earplug Brothers.”

So without further ado she placed the magic hat (that the cork gods had given her) upon her dainty head…


…and concentrated her mind upon the distant male earplugs…


Also meanwhile, Dilbert and Gilman had returned to the sentinel post – to find the washing tub empty, and the floor still wet…


“Where could Hugo and Austin be?” Dilbert asked.


Looking out through the window – more in desperation than hope – they called their fellow monk’s names, and heard their echoes mock them.

If they had known the truth, they probably wouldn’t have bothered…


“Come away from the door, Hugo.” Austin spoke from the darkness of their dungeon cell. “Dinner will arrive when dinner arrives.”

© Paul Trevor Nolan


About Tooty Nolan

Writer of silly tales, taker of pictures, and all round good egg
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