Junior Earplug Adventures: Plunging into Peril (Part Seven)

At the head of a gorge that led from a distant valley to  the mountain top village of Lemon Stone stood a cold and lonely sentinel post…


Built from poorly poured concrete and natural stone, the building was a miserable place for a monk to be sequestered. At any given time it was manned by four monks – each with the duty of spotting travelers and, either chasing them off with cudgels and pikes, or welcoming them to Lemon Stone and issuing them an expensive temporary passport…


Often their task was made more difficult by low cloud or obscuring mist…


Because their pay and working conditions were so atrocious, they were forced to take in washing…


…where the hot water would warm their chilly outpost…


and the soapy bubbles would entertain the monks – slightly. If ever there were disgruntled monks in the Order of the Holey Vest, the occupants of the sentinel post were the most disgruntled. And when the washing work ran out, or the water pipes froze…


…their destitution and desolation was such that even the morning sunlight couldn’t cheer them up. Their names were Brother Dilbert Chunder, Brother Gilman Imp, Brother Hugo Bernstoast, and Brother Austin Quango. Brother Dilbert and Brother Gilman were particularly cheesed-off because it was their task to fetch the groceries from the distant village every day…


“I don’t think I can take much more of this.” Dilbert complained that particular morning. “And how I’d love to have a proper toilet too, instead of that hole in the floor that leads to the gorge wall, where our effluent cascades down to the valley floor in an exaltation of filth.”

“And soft tissue paper.” Gilman added as he followed Dilbert from the building.

They said nothing more until they’d reached a high point on the mountain trail…


…where Dilbert said: “I don’t like heights either: they make my eyes boggle.”

But despite their displeasure, Dilbert and Gilman continued along the trail…


…because it took them to the mushroom-shaped shopping mall in Lemon Stone…


From there they visited their most precious religious icon – the Farting Frog…


…where they did a bit of kneeling, grovelling, and praying. Later they visited their cave for a wash and brush up in their own bathroom…


…and a change of underwear.

© Paul Trevor Nolan


About Tooty Nolan

Writer of silly tales, taker of pictures, and all round good egg
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