I have to admit that I’m enjoying these child-friendly re-writes of the Earplug Adventures immensely. In removing the rather unsubtle references to sex etc, I’ve been forced to engage extra un-used silly-cells in my brain in order to make the stories palatable for family reading. Read this super-short extract from Terror in the Museum; then tell me that it’s better that the original.
“No.” He roared indignantly. “A former Zombie who has been gifted with a second chance at life should never turn back. March on, I say – march on!”
So they did – until they discovered exactly what the Wide Blue Yonder actually was…
“It’s a sort of fabric!” Vic yelled with joy as their feet encountered the strange blue material.
“Fabric?” Mandy squealed with delight. “I love fabric!”
“Maybe I can fashion a sort of sail from it.” Bob suggested. “We can use the wind to blow us across the huge distance between here and where we’re going.”
“Oh yes.” Candy agreed enthusiastically. “I can sew on some sequins and lace doily like decorations.”
“I don’t care what you do.” Vic cried out in a joyous tone of voice. “I’m just going to run, run, and run – until my heart bursts!”
“Can I run with you?” Mandy inquired happily. “I’m quite athletic. I often won the wheelbarrow race at school.”
© Paul Trevor Nolan