“He Who Weareth the Coat of the Countryman…


walkies in wood

…will be mistaken for a countryman.” If that sounds like a wise proverb, it’s because it is – and it’s mine. And the reason that it’s a wise proverb is because it’s true. There I was, walking about, minding my own business whilst wearing my countryman coat, when I stopped minding my own business and engaged a farmer in conversation about the 150 cattle that were approaching up a narrow lane. Assuming that I was a countryman, he entrusted me with the (unpaid) task of stopping traffic (dark green four-wheel drives for the most part – this is the country after all) and stopping the cattle from entering the village. Well being game for anything I accepted the challenge with a stout heart and a handy Nikon. Here is the forefront of that bovine wave of destruction.

droving

I say ‘bovine wave of destruction’ for good reason because – after successfully guiding the confused animals towards their destination – I realised that we were a few short.

A house owner who had come into his garden to take photos said, “Is that the lot?” To which I replied, “I don’t think so.” Adding, “maybe you should open your back gate.”

When he did as he was bid, he discovered this…

cow in garden

Apparently they’d climbed from the sunken lane, pushed through a stand of trees and a hedge, and tucked gleefully into his daffodils. But that was the Drover’s fault: I did my job impeccably, with every beast doing exactly what I told it to do. As a countryman (and the wearer of a countryman coat) I obviously speak Cow.

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About Tooty Nolan

Writer of silly tales, taker of pictures, and all round good egg
This entry was posted in Photography, Tooty Stuff and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to “He Who Weareth the Coat of the Countryman…

  1. Jayne Higgs says:

    Great story.A true countryman.

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