Junior Earplug Adventures: Natural Selection (Part 14)

For a moment both alien earplugs stood stock-still in amazement. Then they all but threw themselves into the exhibit…

“In the name of the Supreme Being’s cod piece.” Tufty blurted like an excited chimney sweep, “They have both Mark Fours and Mark Fives. This is wondrous news.”

“Let’s take the news to Brock and the others.” Galve replied gleefully. “With either thruster any flying saucer will easily attain escape velocity and gain orbit in a few seconds flat. Then it’ll just be a simple matter of putting a vast distance between our ship and whatever this planet is, and then  we can engage the star drive!”

“Fantastic exposition, Galve. That was like a verbal UFO flying lesson.” Tufty said with clear and genuine admiration. “Let’s do it.”

It was just about the same time that Tufty was congratulating Galve that Nennigross and the others arrived at the flying saucer video playback screen…

Like the prospectors before them, the young earplugs were hugely impressed by the footage of squadrons of flying saucers whooshing across the screen. Of course all of them were too young to recall that the scene had been edited from security tapes, shot at the time when the museum came under attack from End Caps from Hyperspace…

And only Fang had taken the time to watch Rupert Piles’ award-winning documentary that showed how the infinitely brave Earplug Brothers – Rudi, Valentine, Chester, Miles, and Magnuss – had saved the day…

…with some help from a bunch of Spanish beach bums who called themselves Los Tapones de España…

…and a bloody great big interceptor rocket…

But they weren’t impressed enough to forget their immediate task – to thwart dastardly alien plans. So they cast aside their uncomfortable private detective hats…

…and continued upon their way.

Meanwhile, the prospectors had discovered a second hangar that contained saucers with which they were familiar…

The situation improved further when Tufty and Galve brought news of the missing thrusters…

“Wunderbar.” Wilhelm bellowed. “Let’s go get those suckers. Then we’re outta here!”

To be continued…

© Paul Trevor Nolan

 

 

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Junior Earplug Adventures: Natural Selection (Part 13)

It was Galve Mullion and Torsten Gobbfist who took the lead as the prospectors made their way through a labyrinth of corridors through which the map guided them towards their goal…

And they continued to lead…

…even when the museum security decided to go the emerald alert.

“Holy carp,” Galve exclaimed, “that nearly made me have an accident in my boxer shorts!”

Torsten would have been equally startled, but the thought of Galve experiencing a lavatorial accident in his company took his mind off the subject of the emerald alert like an unexpected kick in the groin or being hurled from the deck of an aircraft carrier.

Of course there were other earplugs abroad in the silvery corridors of the Museum of Future Technology…

…but they were used to such situations. In fact, in their experience, an emerald alert amounted to little more than a dropped ice cream cone in the cafeteria or a male earplug missing the urinal whilst taking a drunken tiddle. So they took no notice, and failed utterly to spot the prospectors making their way to freedom…

Then, suddenly the prospectors had arrived at their destination…

…and they were totally wowed by the video playback in the foyer.

“Where’s the front door?” Torlet Trubbles demanded as he consulted an accompanying guide-book eagerly. “Ah, here it is. Let’s go!”

Seconds later they stood outside the entrance to the flying saucer exhibit…

…where Buddy Napalm began to doubt the wisdom of their intended act: “What if we get caught? Perhaps if we asked first…” He warned.

But Tufty Jetski told him to shove his concerns up his nose,and then duly marched into…

…a secret flying saucer hangar, where he, and the others, were mightily impressed. But whilst most of the group attempted to search the flying saucer’s hull to find the location of flying saucer’s main thrusters, Tufty and Galve noticed an adjoining room…

…into which they entered without hesitation…

…and found manna from heaven.

To be continued…

©Paul Trevor Nolan

 

 

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Wallpaper 324: The Rat and the Primrose

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Junior Earplug Adventures: Natural Selection (Part 12)

Plopper and Benjamin looked at each other – the same thought passing through both silicon brains at the same time: Holy heck – they’re gonna steal a flying saucer: what are we gonna do about it?

Well what they did was call the T.W.I.T headquarters, Swotten Hetty. Just a few minutes later Major Flaccid called several operatives into his office…

Unfortunately he’d been at a sherry sampling seminar, and as a result of this his memory failed him. He could remember who his operatives  needed to find, but couldn’t recall what Plopper and Benjamin had told him that the prospectors intended to do.

“Look everywhere.” He said with a slurred voice. “All at the same time – twice. Leave no stone unturned, and no…things un…er…thingy.” Then he burped very loudly, and produced an enormous fart that stopped his agents in their tracks.

Naturally the operatives didn’t have a bloody clue what their leader required of them, except that they find, and presumably arrest, eight aliens in silver suits. So without enquiring further, they turned about and began their search.

By chance the prospectors had called into a public urinal for a pee…

…and watched as the agents of T.W.I.T passed by the window.

“Oops,” Brock said quietly to himself. “Looks like we’ll have to step carefully. It’s time to go into extreme stealth mode.”

This reaction was to save their endeavour, because RoboSecGuas were also on their trail…

And Brock’s extreme stealth mode paid dividends when EvilRoboSecGua led a squad into the grand hall…

But Brock was ready for them, and had already hidden around the corner…

“Right then,” he said, following the RoboSecGuas departure…

…”Let’s have a look at that map Mister Plop drew for us. I feel it in my bowels; we’re getting close.”

But little did any of them know, but Nennigross and her friends were following museum protocols strictly…

…and were in hot pursuit.

To be continued…

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2017 

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Portrait Gallery 71: The Nosey Daffodil – In Your Face!

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Junior Earplug Adventures: Natural Selection (Part 11)

Meanwhile the ageing thespian, Sir Dodger Muir, and the former children’s TV actor, Bert Frogget – best known as Aquaplug – were being interviewed on live television by the museum’s TV reporter, Rupert Piles…

Sir Dodger was in the middle of a witty anecdote, when he was interrupted by…

…the passing multiple feet of the trans-galactic prospectors as they went about their urgent, self-appointed task.

“I say,” he quipped to camera, “have you ever seen such a group of handsome fellows? They remind me of when I was in repitary theatre several decades past. Of course I was somewhat more lithe and handsome myself, back then…” But he stopped talking when he realised that Rupert had swung his camera around…

…and was shooting the departing strangers. By chance some Junior RoboSecGuas were watching the program in the security suite…

Naturally they brought the appearance of the prospectors to their superior, EvilRoboSecGua…

…who didn’t like the look of them, and decided to investigate.

Meanwhile the prospectors had arrived in the Fort Balderdash exhibit, where Plopper O’Hooligan and Benjamin Booger watched them pass by…

They continued to watch from a high vantage point as the silver-suited new-comers approached Mister Plop, who happened to be there for no reason at all…

“Wow, you sure smell bad.” Brock observed. “Did something crawl inside your underpants and die?”

In response to this Mister Plop regaled them with the tale of how he’d been overwhelmed by a tidal wave of effluent some two years past, and how bacteria in the filth had re-animated him, and now kept him alive. “Unfortunately it’s really pongy.” He finished.

“That’s too bad.” Brock said, rather carelessly – or so thought the watching Plopper and Benjamin. He then added: “I don’t suppose you know where we can find a functioning space craft that’s capable of interstellar flight, do you?”

To which Mister Plop replied: “Yeah, sure, you weird orange guy: let me draw you a map.”

And the purple and green earplugs continued to watch and listen when the prospectors formed a circle to discuss the map that Mister Plop had so expertly drafted for them – like the former gravedigger that he was…

© Paul Trevor Nolan

To be continued…

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Wallpaper 323: Perimeter Daffs; Guarding the Garden

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