Junior Earplug Adventures: The Island of Doctor Wiel-Barrau (Episode 9)

Meanwhile, not a million miles distant, the owner of the mysterious island, Doctor Adolf Wiel-Barrau, was boasting to three of his acolytes, Darcy Birstead, Norma Conquest, and Daffney De Mauritania…

“Note,” he said, “how my wondrous techniques in genetic manipulation are creating end caps that are seventy-five percent taller than average.”

“Truly remarkable.” The green-faced Darcy Birstead replied. “All three of us are thankful that such a fabulous genetic genius as you, has allowed us to assist him in his conquest of…er…the manipulation of genes and stuff.”

“Thanking you, I am, for those kind, but essentially accurate words.” Adolf said egotistically. “But soon you will be uttering words in a much more expressive manner. For, it is certain, soon you will be discovering just how brilliant I really am. To be using a hackneyed term: you aint seen nothing yet.”

Of course the three females wanted to learn more of Adolf’s plans; but as the doctor returned his attention to the viewing screen, which displayed inhabitants of the End Cap habitat pod, they realised that he would say no more – at least until he was ready to share his latest (and probably greatest) plan…

So Daffney De Mauritania sighed; turned away; and set course for the lavatory. But, she guessed, it was just a matter of time before they received new guests. Unwilling ones probably.

Little did Daffney suspect, but, at that moment, six of those ‘guests’ were tip-toeing along the seashore…

“You’d expect someone would have spotted us by now.” Gwen complained. “Where are all the rescue ladders, tossed from the high cliff above us? And has no one ’round here heard of rescue boats? Rotten swines.”

By coincidence Adolf Wiel-Barrau had his security CCTV office located upon that same clifftop. At that precise moment, the operator, Slomo Chewings, was perusing the views presented by secret cameras positioned throughout the island…

 

She was in the act of spying upon two of Adolf’s more attractive male experiments, when an alarm alerted her to intruders…

…who, when they noticed the spy camera, cheered up instantaneously.

Naturally the news was taken straight to Doctor Wiel-Barrau…

“Herr Doctor.” Norma Conquest yelled at her boss. “Six young earplugs have been detected creeping along the bottom of the cliff. Four of them are wearing wedding rings: the other two seem to be nice boys.”

Adolf was surprised: he’d expected the young earplugs to have arrived aboard sea-going rafts. Rafts that he had secreted away upon the mainland coast several months earlier.

“Flipping heck.” He blurted uncharacteristically. “Sinking their rafts must have been. Be sending Darcy Birstead to save them immediately.”

If nothing else, Doctor Wiel-Barrau’s acolytes were most efficient. Five minutes after receiving the command, Darcy stood upon the narrow beach and beckoned to Colin, Plankton, and the Sickies…

“If you value your lives,” she said, “follow me.”

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2017

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Wallpaper 390: Decaying at Day’s End

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Junior Earplug Adventures: The Island of Doctor Wiel-Barrau (Episode 8)

Meanwhile, far away, upon the mysterious island, Colin Ventana, Plankton Regis, and the Sickies – Gwen, Neezup, Cuthbert and Bob, had fallen foul of the confluence betwixt an underground river  and the incoming tide. Or, to put it another way, their rafts had turned turtle and cast them into the raging waters…

“Argh, blub, blub, blub.” They gurgled. “Thank the Saint of All Earplugs for mandatory swimming lessons at senior school and college level.” 

Gwen, in particular, was not enjoying the dunking one little bit…

“Not nice.” She said between bouts of spitting brackish water from her submerged mouth. “Worse still, I chose to wear my towelling knickers this morning, and now they are all sodden and attempting to drag me to a watery grave.”

This was bad news for her husband, Cuthbert, who was doing all he could to maintain a feeble backstroke towards his foundering wife. “The shore.” He gasped. “We must strike out for the shore. Can anyone see it in the darkness of this submarine passage?”

Naturally everyone cast their gaze hither and thither…

But it was Bob who finally spotted a cliff through the pounding surf.

“Look.” He bellowed…

…”It’s over there. Let’s go!”

Moments later the frightened earplugs had gained the breaking waves…

And those same waves that had wrecked their craft, carried them towards the sanctuary of land…

It was Cuthbert and Plankton that were first to wade ashore. And before long…

…only Colin remained up to his neck in H2o.

“Oi.” He shouted. “I have a sedentary job: I haven’t built up the powerful thigh muscles required to allow me egress from these turbulent waters. Would one or more of you lend me a hand?”

They had started the journey together: they would end it together. So, several heartbeats later…

…he joined the others on a thin strip of sand between the water and an almost sheer cliff.

“Where to now?” He inquired. “I have a nasty feeling that the tide is still coming in.”

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2017

 

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Wallpaper 389: Lonesome Parasol

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Junior Earplug Adventures: The Island of Doctor Wiel-Barrau (Episode 7)

Of course, an earplug of Magnuss’ caliber wasn’t about to allow a numb bum to dampen his ardour for life. So before long he was visiting the latest work of the museum’s most reviled artist…

…Anton Twerp. But sadly both youngsters felt that Twerp had managed to instill into his work some of his natural creepiness. So they decided to leave…

“Vile.” Hair-Trigger opined. “Almost as vile as the artist himself.”

Magnuss couldn’t have agreed more: especially when the character’s eyes seemed to watch them depart, and it grumbled to itself sotto voce.

But the exhibition gave Magnuss an idea. And that idea was to tell anyone who was interested about his last adventure, in an alternate reality, all about it – in public – to paying customers…

Although former Trumptation, Cory Turpentine, did warn him that he might appear ‘full of his own carp’ – or words very similar to that…

…and that if the story wasn’t absolutely riveting, he might lose a proportion of his loyal fan base, Magnuss was only slightly concerned about this. But, he reasoned, it was too late to cancel: Hair-Trigger had already pocketed the ticket sales revenue. So, with a ready smile, he began his recital…

 

And as the crowd warmed to his tale of derring-do, his smile widened and widened – to the point where he was afraid that his teeth would fall out…

…and an ever-growing crowd threw a huge shadow over the scene.

Naturally, as the show came to its conclusion, Magnuss mingled with the audience – signing autographs, kissing cheeks, surreptitiously breaking wind, and all that sort of stuff…

Then, as the last happy customer departed, he and his beloved raced off to purchase a new set of matching jet packs – before clambering up to the museum helipad…

…where they prepared themselves…

…and launched skyward…

…upon twin columns of futuristic power – destination unknown.

© Paul Trevor Nolan 2017

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Wallpaper 388: Mottled Rose

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Aspects of Acquisition

Most of my photography is done with a pair of bridge cameras; but my favourite pieces of kit are humble compacts, which (by coincidence) photograph the majority of the Earplug Adventures. And just to show how much I like ’em, here is my current crop…

I find it difficult to pass by a bargain, you understand. They call to me. “Tooty, you don’t have this particular model.” They say. “Just look how many megapixels I have. How can you possibly resist?” Obviously I can’t. Do you have a similar degree of willpower? Or are you strong?

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